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<blockquote data-quote="katya02" data-source="post: 178029" data-attributes="member: 2884"><p>A bit of a breakthrough tonight - I noticed this morning that the levels in the gin and vodka bottles were lower (the alcohol is still hidden, not in a locked cabinet because husband refuses to spend the money on either a locking fridge or a deadbolt for our master suite door). This evening, after further depletion of the bottles, I confronted difficult child. He admitted that he had been drinking, both before today and this evening, and became teary.</p><p></p><p>I gave him a hug but then redirected him to avoid an emotional meltdown. He said he works hard in other areas in an attempt to compensate, but that the compulsion to drink/use is 'life or death' for him. I told him that treating this compulsion is therefore life or death, no? That it must be the first and biggest priority in his life bar nothing, no? I compared addiction to diabetes or cancer, and told him we'd be urging him just as strongly, in fact considering it non-negotiable, to get treatment in those cases - and it's just as urgent and non-negotiable with this. He accepted this, for the first time. Since for the next two weeks he will only have one group meeting per week in his outpatient treatment program (one group leader is on vacation and his private counseling doesn't start until Aug. 12), I told him he must go to AA meetings, and several times per week for the time being.</p><p>Once I told him that not only would he get education and support, but he'd get a sponsor who has been in his situation, he agreed. </p><p></p><p>This is huge for him. So far he has resisted acknowledging that he can't control this. </p><p></p><p>I know that talk is cheap, and things may change tomorrow, so I'm not doing back-flips ... but it is a breakthrough. And he must and will go to treatment and AA. husband has come to the place where he said today, it's treatment or the door. Not negotiable. And with this episode husband seems to realize that we can't have alcohol hidden, and we can't have it on the counter while difficult child is around. So finally we're on the same page. Hooray!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="katya02, post: 178029, member: 2884"] A bit of a breakthrough tonight - I noticed this morning that the levels in the gin and vodka bottles were lower (the alcohol is still hidden, not in a locked cabinet because husband refuses to spend the money on either a locking fridge or a deadbolt for our master suite door). This evening, after further depletion of the bottles, I confronted difficult child. He admitted that he had been drinking, both before today and this evening, and became teary. I gave him a hug but then redirected him to avoid an emotional meltdown. He said he works hard in other areas in an attempt to compensate, but that the compulsion to drink/use is 'life or death' for him. I told him that treating this compulsion is therefore life or death, no? That it must be the first and biggest priority in his life bar nothing, no? I compared addiction to diabetes or cancer, and told him we'd be urging him just as strongly, in fact considering it non-negotiable, to get treatment in those cases - and it's just as urgent and non-negotiable with this. He accepted this, for the first time. Since for the next two weeks he will only have one group meeting per week in his outpatient treatment program (one group leader is on vacation and his private counseling doesn't start until Aug. 12), I told him he must go to AA meetings, and several times per week for the time being. Once I told him that not only would he get education and support, but he'd get a sponsor who has been in his situation, he agreed. This is huge for him. So far he has resisted acknowledging that he can't control this. I know that talk is cheap, and things may change tomorrow, so I'm not doing back-flips ... but it is a breakthrough. And he must and will go to treatment and AA. husband has come to the place where he said today, it's treatment or the door. Not negotiable. And with this episode husband seems to realize that we can't have alcohol hidden, and we can't have it on the counter while difficult child is around. So finally we're on the same page. Hooray! [/QUOTE]
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