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Parent Emeritus
Cognitive Dissonance
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<blockquote data-quote="HMBgal" data-source="post: 758622" data-attributes="member: 13260"><p>I for certain understand this. I've come to that place that I'll love my 42 year old daughter no matter how her poor decisions have hurt and impacted her entire family, including her children (that I'm raising). So, I love the kid but not her actions. And as for if she's good or bad, mean or nice--I just don't go there. I hate the things she's done, but I can't hate her. I've tried to release that as much as I can. I've run the gamut of emotions of rage, disappointment, absolute confusion, and a hundred other things. But at the bottom of it all, I love her. I have no expectations that she'll change. I think our kids know and understand what they've created. I know my daughter has and her self-loathing runs deep and causes depression, more substance abuse, and on and on in a vicious dance. I'm lucky in that in the core of all of it, she loves me, too. I have to say, though, that she's never been disrespectful to me or said anything mean to me. That probably makes my journey a little easier to bear. I guess you can only be self-protective and an island of calm when your daughter ramps up. I'm so sorry for your situation. I lost a son, too, and I feel like I'm losing my daughter. It's. So. Hard. Warmest virtual hugs to you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="HMBgal, post: 758622, member: 13260"] I for certain understand this. I've come to that place that I'll love my 42 year old daughter no matter how her poor decisions have hurt and impacted her entire family, including her children (that I'm raising). So, I love the kid but not her actions. And as for if she's good or bad, mean or nice--I just don't go there. I hate the things she's done, but I can't hate her. I've tried to release that as much as I can. I've run the gamut of emotions of rage, disappointment, absolute confusion, and a hundred other things. But at the bottom of it all, I love her. I have no expectations that she'll change. I think our kids know and understand what they've created. I know my daughter has and her self-loathing runs deep and causes depression, more substance abuse, and on and on in a vicious dance. I'm lucky in that in the core of all of it, she loves me, too. I have to say, though, that she's never been disrespectful to me or said anything mean to me. That probably makes my journey a little easier to bear. I guess you can only be self-protective and an island of calm when your daughter ramps up. I'm so sorry for your situation. I lost a son, too, and I feel like I'm losing my daughter. It's. So. Hard. Warmest virtual hugs to you. [/QUOTE]
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