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Parent Emeritus
College tuition payment for our Difficult Child
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 705387" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Pacific Ocean, only she can decide what she needs to be happy, if she is capable of finding contentment without your handing her a boatload of money.</p><p></p><p>You don't know what her doctor really said to her. And that does not rule out borderline. Borderlines are good at acting okay when they want to be. Any doctor is only as accurate as the information about herself that the patient shares. It is truly not the norm for young adults to demand parental sustanience over and over again</p><p></p><p>I am fortunate (and know it) that my difficult.son has a high paying job, a house, a car and the things he needs. But most of the time difficult kids are difficult partly due to refusal to give us any respect unless we do their bidding and because they are unmotivated to become independent, working adults. Most adult kids WANT to sustain themselves. This is important.</p><p> If one has no typically behaving adult child, one may not know how hard most young adults work to become mature. But they do. Even my autistic son is kind, law snidong, in his own.place and financially independent.</p><p></p><p>My 20 year old took out loans and got grants for her two year college. She works too. She will go to the Police Academy next year. Her back story is that of an adopted child with a good temperament who struggled with serious learning disabilities. At age 8, in spite of extra help she still could not read. But she fought. Look where she is now</p><p> </p><p>I know you want to believe your daughter. Look at her history to decide if she means it and can sustain her respect of you even if you tell her no. You. Have your answer there.</p><p></p><p>I wish you all the best</p><p> As much as you want to believe, guard your loving heart. Hugs and love and light!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 705387, member: 1550"] Pacific Ocean, only she can decide what she needs to be happy, if she is capable of finding contentment without your handing her a boatload of money. You don't know what her doctor really said to her. And that does not rule out borderline. Borderlines are good at acting okay when they want to be. Any doctor is only as accurate as the information about herself that the patient shares. It is truly not the norm for young adults to demand parental sustanience over and over again I am fortunate (and know it) that my difficult.son has a high paying job, a house, a car and the things he needs. But most of the time difficult kids are difficult partly due to refusal to give us any respect unless we do their bidding and because they are unmotivated to become independent, working adults. Most adult kids WANT to sustain themselves. This is important. If one has no typically behaving adult child, one may not know how hard most young adults work to become mature. But they do. Even my autistic son is kind, law snidong, in his own.place and financially independent. My 20 year old took out loans and got grants for her two year college. She works too. She will go to the Police Academy next year. Her back story is that of an adopted child with a good temperament who struggled with serious learning disabilities. At age 8, in spite of extra help she still could not read. But she fought. Look where she is now I know you want to believe your daughter. Look at her history to decide if she means it and can sustain her respect of you even if you tell her no. You. Have your answer there. I wish you all the best As much as you want to believe, guard your loving heart. Hugs and love and light! [/QUOTE]
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