I think I'm with gvcmom (post #6 in this thread). If you don't think they're mature enough for certain privileges, e.g., facebook or other chat sites, then restrict them and tell them. You don't want to be auditing AFTER the fact, because, frankly, that's too late, and you might miss things. As you already have.
This will lead to tough discussions - no, not you, not yet - but I think they need to know that's where they are with you.
In addition, I guess I have a problem with 'sneaky'. I'd rather have the discussions out in the open (possibly, to a fault...).
My kid is probably the LAST in his class to play M rated games, the last to see R movies, etc., but I've been up front with him when I don't think he's ready.
