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Concerned about treatment for grandson
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 418087" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>The others have valid points. We lived with my parents for a couple of years while my husband was in grad school and even then my parents did not see my son's problems fully. They were horrified and partly furious when we put my son in a psychiatric hospital for 4 months. It took almost half of that time for them to believe that I found him with his hands around my daughter's throat in the middle of the night. The only started to believe that I wasn't "over reacting" to "normal sibling stuff" when I brought home a 2 page, front and back list of all of the atrocities he had done to her in the few months before his stay.</p><p> </p><p>Even when we lived 13 hours away my parents thought they knew what was going on in our home every day. they didn't believe that if we left difficult child and our daughter in a room long enough to go and use the potty that he would have her bruised and/or bleeding. And I got potty breaks down to under 60 seconds including running up and down a flight of stairs.</p><p> </p><p>There just isn't any way for you to really see what is going on with him full time. Yes, the chaos has caused problems, and unstable home lives have contributed. What your grandson needs MOST is your unconditional love, reasonable boundaries and for you to support his parents unless behavior is such that CPS would step in and remove him from one home or another.</p><p> </p><p>right now my folks are in a toughspot with my bro and his daughter and his ex. his ex got a protective order that is based on lies, got a court order saying that bro could only be with his daughter with one of my parents in the same ROOM (not house, ROOM) and then my exsil checked her self into rehab. Supposedly for a 5 day detox, but it has been a month now. Exsil's father lives hours away and is not fit to care for a cat. so my parents are raising her until the courts see that exsil has told her daughter to lie about her dad hitting her (I have my problems with her but he works dang hard to be the best dad he can be and I know for a fact that he wouldn't do what she alleges AND that her teenage kids warned me about how they were raised when she and my bro married.) and many other things.</p><p> </p><p>They still work super hard to make sure that NO ONE says bad things about exsil in range of niece's hearing - conversations take place outside or while niece is in school. Because your grandkids are half their mom and half their dad. If you say bad htings about one parent, you say them about half of your grandchild. </p><p> </p><p>It isn't easy, but the best you can do is to be supportive and let him know that you are there and will not drag him into the problems of his parents' marriages.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 418087, member: 1233"] The others have valid points. We lived with my parents for a couple of years while my husband was in grad school and even then my parents did not see my son's problems fully. They were horrified and partly furious when we put my son in a psychiatric hospital for 4 months. It took almost half of that time for them to believe that I found him with his hands around my daughter's throat in the middle of the night. The only started to believe that I wasn't "over reacting" to "normal sibling stuff" when I brought home a 2 page, front and back list of all of the atrocities he had done to her in the few months before his stay. Even when we lived 13 hours away my parents thought they knew what was going on in our home every day. they didn't believe that if we left difficult child and our daughter in a room long enough to go and use the potty that he would have her bruised and/or bleeding. And I got potty breaks down to under 60 seconds including running up and down a flight of stairs. There just isn't any way for you to really see what is going on with him full time. Yes, the chaos has caused problems, and unstable home lives have contributed. What your grandson needs MOST is your unconditional love, reasonable boundaries and for you to support his parents unless behavior is such that CPS would step in and remove him from one home or another. right now my folks are in a toughspot with my bro and his daughter and his ex. his ex got a protective order that is based on lies, got a court order saying that bro could only be with his daughter with one of my parents in the same ROOM (not house, ROOM) and then my exsil checked her self into rehab. Supposedly for a 5 day detox, but it has been a month now. Exsil's father lives hours away and is not fit to care for a cat. so my parents are raising her until the courts see that exsil has told her daughter to lie about her dad hitting her (I have my problems with her but he works dang hard to be the best dad he can be and I know for a fact that he wouldn't do what she alleges AND that her teenage kids warned me about how they were raised when she and my bro married.) and many other things. They still work super hard to make sure that NO ONE says bad things about exsil in range of niece's hearing - conversations take place outside or while niece is in school. Because your grandkids are half their mom and half their dad. If you say bad htings about one parent, you say them about half of your grandchild. It isn't easy, but the best you can do is to be supportive and let him know that you are there and will not drag him into the problems of his parents' marriages. [/QUOTE]
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