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Concerned about treatment for grandson
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<blockquote data-quote="GmaKate" data-source="post: 422892" data-attributes="member: 11591"><p><span style="font-size: 10px">Sorry I didn't reply sooner. I forgot to bookmark this site and just recently remembered which email address I used to sign up so I could find it again.. Anyway, while I appreciate the feedback, I think I that maybe what I was asking about wasn't clear. Not to pick on any one person here, but I feel Mary jumped to a lot of conclusions about what she felt was the situation and then some of you repsonded accordingly.</span></p><p> <span style="font-size: 10px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">First off, I am not anti-medication. I've been on antidepressants myself and have gone through the medication merry-go-round with my youngest son. I do worry about young children being given SSRI's and I am surprised that doctors will prescribe them given the warnings that abound about these medications and their use in children.</span></p><p> <span style="font-size: 10px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">Some background on me. I raised three sons - two of whom were very difficult. My oldest son (the father of all of my grandchildren) had ADD and was quite oppositional/defiant. We all went though hell during his teen years but thankfully, he got through it and today is a very hard-working man and a good dad and husband. My middle son had some ADD but overall was not hard to raise. My youngest son (who was adopted) has many issues. He may have some Fetal Alcohol Exposure but that couldn't be verified. Besides having severe learning and communication disabilities, he also has ADHD, Tourette's and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). So, I have been around the block when it comes to seeking out treatments. </span></p><p> <span style="font-size: 10px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">Now, I'd like to address some of the assumptions that were made. When it comes to my ex-daughter in law, I do not dislike her in the slighest. I have known her since she was in her early teens (when she and my son first started dating). I will always love her and care about her no matter what. We email frequently and in fact, she will often ask my advice when it comes to treatments that are being recommended for Jeff. As for saying negative things about her around my grandchildren - that never happens. Yes, she has some issues but I know her background and I realize she has a lot of stuff she still needs to work out. As for her new husband, he is an emotionally abusive man with a violent temper (throws things but I don't believe he has ever hit her) and it saddens me that my grandchildren have to live around this kind of turmoil. I don't ask my grandchildren about their mom's relationship - they bring it up. I try to help them figure out strategies that will maybe make things better for them. (ex. - while Jeff was here we did some role playing so I could try to help him to understand how his response at times can escalate a situation). Jeff tells me that he thinks things are his fault and that he is "stupid" or he will tell me that he can't do anything right.</span></p><p> <span style="font-size: 10px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">I have seen my grandson's outbursts. I visit them frequently and stay at my son's when I do so I know he can be a handful when he gets upset. My main reason for posting the first message was I was feeling (and still do feel) that if the Psychiatrist doesn't have the full picture of what Jeff has been through and the turmoil he is living with currently, he might make ill-informed decisions. That is what I wanted to bring up to my son and ex-daughter in law and I was looking for help in how to approach them.</span></p><p> <span style="font-size: 10px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">I realize that when one is raising a difficult kid, you can easily be put on the defensive. I've been there. I know about the stares and whispers when your kid throws a huge tantrum and says horrible things in public. I know what it's like to have family members ask "Don't you ever spank him"? - as if that's all that is needed to "straighten the kid out". My heart goes out to all of you who are struggling to raise these children. It's a long, hard, exhausting jourrney made all the more difficult because there is often no idea where the journey will take you. I wish for all of you the continued strength needed each day to do what is best for your child. </span></p><p> <span style="font-size: 10px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">Peace - GmaKate</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="GmaKate, post: 422892, member: 11591"] [SIZE=2]Sorry I didn't reply sooner. I forgot to bookmark this site and just recently remembered which email address I used to sign up so I could find it again.. Anyway, while I appreciate the feedback, I think I that maybe what I was asking about wasn't clear. Not to pick on any one person here, but I feel Mary jumped to a lot of conclusions about what she felt was the situation and then some of you repsonded accordingly. First off, I am not anti-medication. I've been on antidepressants myself and have gone through the medication merry-go-round with my youngest son. I do worry about young children being given SSRI's and I am surprised that doctors will prescribe them given the warnings that abound about these medications and their use in children. Some background on me. I raised three sons - two of whom were very difficult. My oldest son (the father of all of my grandchildren) had ADD and was quite oppositional/defiant. We all went though hell during his teen years but thankfully, he got through it and today is a very hard-working man and a good dad and husband. My middle son had some ADD but overall was not hard to raise. My youngest son (who was adopted) has many issues. He may have some Fetal Alcohol Exposure but that couldn't be verified. Besides having severe learning and communication disabilities, he also has ADHD, Tourette's and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). So, I have been around the block when it comes to seeking out treatments. Now, I'd like to address some of the assumptions that were made. When it comes to my ex-daughter in law, I do not dislike her in the slighest. I have known her since she was in her early teens (when she and my son first started dating). I will always love her and care about her no matter what. We email frequently and in fact, she will often ask my advice when it comes to treatments that are being recommended for Jeff. As for saying negative things about her around my grandchildren - that never happens. Yes, she has some issues but I know her background and I realize she has a lot of stuff she still needs to work out. As for her new husband, he is an emotionally abusive man with a violent temper (throws things but I don't believe he has ever hit her) and it saddens me that my grandchildren have to live around this kind of turmoil. I don't ask my grandchildren about their mom's relationship - they bring it up. I try to help them figure out strategies that will maybe make things better for them. (ex. - while Jeff was here we did some role playing so I could try to help him to understand how his response at times can escalate a situation). Jeff tells me that he thinks things are his fault and that he is "stupid" or he will tell me that he can't do anything right. I have seen my grandson's outbursts. I visit them frequently and stay at my son's when I do so I know he can be a handful when he gets upset. My main reason for posting the first message was I was feeling (and still do feel) that if the Psychiatrist doesn't have the full picture of what Jeff has been through and the turmoil he is living with currently, he might make ill-informed decisions. That is what I wanted to bring up to my son and ex-daughter in law and I was looking for help in how to approach them. I realize that when one is raising a difficult kid, you can easily be put on the defensive. I've been there. I know about the stares and whispers when your kid throws a huge tantrum and says horrible things in public. I know what it's like to have family members ask "Don't you ever spank him"? - as if that's all that is needed to "straighten the kid out". My heart goes out to all of you who are struggling to raise these children. It's a long, hard, exhausting jourrney made all the more difficult because there is often no idea where the journey will take you. I wish for all of you the continued strength needed each day to do what is best for your child. Peace - GmaKate [/SIZE] [/QUOTE]
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