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Confession: I don't like my difficult child's girlfriend, at all
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<blockquote data-quote="SuZir" data-source="post: 571075" data-attributes="member: 14557"><p>It's good to know I'm not alone. I do get that I can't influence to with whom my sons will share their lives or marry. I also know that my best chance is trying to just get along with their SOs, even if it is hard. I will certainly not tell or show to difficult child that I don't like her girlfriend and even less I will show it to her. I know that I can only loose if I show my distaste for her. </p><p></p><p>She is not a bad girl, neither are her parents bad folk. girlfriend has had some good influence to difficult child and her parents are nice to him. I should be happy for that and I am. They are just... Well my granny would had said upstart, but it is of course mean to think that. </p><p></p><p>I just hope they don't last till starting the family part. And not only because of the baby names <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" /> With those I have hopes they would change many times before actual babies. I'm also more than happy they are taking things slow in that part. They have now known each other close to two years, officially been together year and half and living together little over half a year now. No babies and no marriages in some time yet is very high on my wish list.</p><p></p><p>Janet: If I remember correctly also your sons are big guys? I think that has a lot to do with not caring much about physical abuse. They are not scared of their much smaller women and are too machos to admit even themselves that emotional side of it hurts. My problem with that is, that one time there may be something in the hand when they hit and scissors stabbed to someone or heavy object thrown to someone will cause just as much damage if the one doing it is much smaller. Or that the guy is provoked enough to hit back and then <strong>they</strong> are the bad guy, even if the damage is not any worse than other way around and even if that was a first time and woman has hit many times before. And then there are of course children. Just seeing domestic violence is very damaging to kids. And kids don't understand that dad is much bigger than mom and unlikely to get badly hurt if she is using just her hands. For them both mom and dad are big, much bigger than they are. And of course if person is violent to their spouse, I see a risk to be violent with kids to be high.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SuZir, post: 571075, member: 14557"] It's good to know I'm not alone. I do get that I can't influence to with whom my sons will share their lives or marry. I also know that my best chance is trying to just get along with their SOs, even if it is hard. I will certainly not tell or show to difficult child that I don't like her girlfriend and even less I will show it to her. I know that I can only loose if I show my distaste for her. She is not a bad girl, neither are her parents bad folk. girlfriend has had some good influence to difficult child and her parents are nice to him. I should be happy for that and I am. They are just... Well my granny would had said upstart, but it is of course mean to think that. I just hope they don't last till starting the family part. And not only because of the baby names :winking: With those I have hopes they would change many times before actual babies. I'm also more than happy they are taking things slow in that part. They have now known each other close to two years, officially been together year and half and living together little over half a year now. No babies and no marriages in some time yet is very high on my wish list. Janet: If I remember correctly also your sons are big guys? I think that has a lot to do with not caring much about physical abuse. They are not scared of their much smaller women and are too machos to admit even themselves that emotional side of it hurts. My problem with that is, that one time there may be something in the hand when they hit and scissors stabbed to someone or heavy object thrown to someone will cause just as much damage if the one doing it is much smaller. Or that the guy is provoked enough to hit back and then [B]they[/B] are the bad guy, even if the damage is not any worse than other way around and even if that was a first time and woman has hit many times before. And then there are of course children. Just seeing domestic violence is very damaging to kids. And kids don't understand that dad is much bigger than mom and unlikely to get badly hurt if she is using just her hands. For them both mom and dad are big, much bigger than they are. And of course if person is violent to their spouse, I see a risk to be violent with kids to be high. [/QUOTE]
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Confession: I don't like my difficult child's girlfriend, at all
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