Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
General Discussions
The Watercooler
Confession: I don't like my difficult child's girlfriend, at all
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="SuZir" data-source="post: 571933" data-attributes="member: 14557"><p>Yeah, I too hope that most likely thing happens and they break up sometime during the next two or three years. It is not that common that first serious relationship started when you are 18 would last. They may end up maturing in different schedule, they may end up bored with each others, just notice they are too different and not what they wanted or either one can fall in love with someone else or something else like that. It simply is not likely it would last and I'm happy with that.</p><p></p><p>Interfering is always a bad idea, especially bad mouthing a girlfriend to difficult child would be a serious mistake. I also don't think it would be wise to try to talk about my concerns with him in any nicer way. He would still consider it interfering and bad mouthing. There are still some things I itch to talk with him. Not so much regarding her current girlfriend but in more general way, but I'm not sure if that doesn't end up backfiring too. It's just that it is big issue with difficult child also outside of this relationship and I wonder if I would be able to talk about that without him thinking it is about girlfriend. </p><p></p><p>It's about how he lets people to treat him. He is very bad at protecting himself in appropriate way if it is someone close. Not that he is good at it when it is someone not close, then he tends to lash out if he can't run or hide. But with those close to him it is more of the problem, because running or hiding are often not options. He may lash out also those close to him but eventually he just lets people do whatever to him, is angry, blames himself and lashes then out passive-aggressive ways. Very unhealthy coping mechanisms. And if nothing helps, he submits and turns his anger to himself. I for example know that I could be very abusive to him and he would be totally helpless and unable to draw any boundaries. And it is not just me, but the group he would let to treat him badly is rather large and it is very possible that he will meat many people who will treat him badly or take advantage of him if he doesn't learn to protect himself. That vulnerability worries me a lot. </p><p></p><p>I also worry if me and husband have been modelling a good relationship for our sons. I very much believe in modelling in raising kids and I have tried to show them how relationships should work. We have tried to not have hissy fits at least in front of kids but tried to talk about or differences and fight fairly and also show our kids that we are able to take responsibility of our actions and feelings and apologise if we are in wrong and forgive and make up. To compromise and take other person's feelings in to the count and to do positive and nice things to each other. I'm not sure how successful we have been, but we have tried. It does bother me that difficult child doesn't seem to consider violence being a big deal. Not her girlfriend being violent towards him and earlier assuming his dad could had hit me during the fight (after easy child had called him and told me and husband were in odds.) Just not happy with that at all.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SuZir, post: 571933, member: 14557"] Yeah, I too hope that most likely thing happens and they break up sometime during the next two or three years. It is not that common that first serious relationship started when you are 18 would last. They may end up maturing in different schedule, they may end up bored with each others, just notice they are too different and not what they wanted or either one can fall in love with someone else or something else like that. It simply is not likely it would last and I'm happy with that. Interfering is always a bad idea, especially bad mouthing a girlfriend to difficult child would be a serious mistake. I also don't think it would be wise to try to talk about my concerns with him in any nicer way. He would still consider it interfering and bad mouthing. There are still some things I itch to talk with him. Not so much regarding her current girlfriend but in more general way, but I'm not sure if that doesn't end up backfiring too. It's just that it is big issue with difficult child also outside of this relationship and I wonder if I would be able to talk about that without him thinking it is about girlfriend. It's about how he lets people to treat him. He is very bad at protecting himself in appropriate way if it is someone close. Not that he is good at it when it is someone not close, then he tends to lash out if he can't run or hide. But with those close to him it is more of the problem, because running or hiding are often not options. He may lash out also those close to him but eventually he just lets people do whatever to him, is angry, blames himself and lashes then out passive-aggressive ways. Very unhealthy coping mechanisms. And if nothing helps, he submits and turns his anger to himself. I for example know that I could be very abusive to him and he would be totally helpless and unable to draw any boundaries. And it is not just me, but the group he would let to treat him badly is rather large and it is very possible that he will meat many people who will treat him badly or take advantage of him if he doesn't learn to protect himself. That vulnerability worries me a lot. I also worry if me and husband have been modelling a good relationship for our sons. I very much believe in modelling in raising kids and I have tried to show them how relationships should work. We have tried to not have hissy fits at least in front of kids but tried to talk about or differences and fight fairly and also show our kids that we are able to take responsibility of our actions and feelings and apologise if we are in wrong and forgive and make up. To compromise and take other person's feelings in to the count and to do positive and nice things to each other. I'm not sure how successful we have been, but we have tried. It does bother me that difficult child doesn't seem to consider violence being a big deal. Not her girlfriend being violent towards him and earlier assuming his dad could had hit me during the fight (after easy child had called him and told me and husband were in odds.) Just not happy with that at all. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
General Discussions
The Watercooler
Confession: I don't like my difficult child's girlfriend, at all
Top