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Substance Abuse
confused and worried parent
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<blockquote data-quote="everywoman" data-source="post: 237259" data-attributes="member: 1436"><p>Welcome. I'm glad you found us but sorry that you had to. </p><p></p><p>The first thing you need to do is set up some boundaries in your home. You can not control your son's behavior. In the eyes of the law, he is an adult. Unless you want to enter a tug or war that will leave you powerless and feeling defeated you must look at what you can control....</p><p></p><p>One thing is curfew. You can establish a curfew for your home...if he isn't home, he doesn't come in. Take his house key when you goes out at night. That way he has to knock to enter and you can check for any signs of impairment.</p><p></p><p>Next you need to set up some rules. I can't stop my son from using marijuana, but I can let him know that it is not allowed in my home. I have to right to search his room. Anything I find is thrown away. When he was 18, I made him leave because he could not follow the rules of my home. He is now 20 and knows that if he can't live by my rules, he will have to find somewhere else to live. </p><p></p><p>Finally, until you are sure he is not using, you cut off any money supply that could be used to purchase drugs. If he has a car that he uses to go to school, do not give him cash money for gas. Either drive him where he needs to go or take him to the station and pump the gas for him. Deny any access to cash from you. If you do that, lock up all valuables and hide your wallet. Have your daughter do the same. If he is using, and you cut him off, he may steal to get the money.</p><p></p><p>Many young people who experiment with drugs and alcohol quickly move on. For a small # like my son, it becomes a way of life. Hopefully yours is just experimenting and by setting up some boundaries, he will see it is not worth it. You must protect your younger daughter. She has the right to live in a safe environment. If he is bringing and using drugs and bring other drug users into your home, she is not safe.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="everywoman, post: 237259, member: 1436"] Welcome. I'm glad you found us but sorry that you had to. The first thing you need to do is set up some boundaries in your home. You can not control your son's behavior. In the eyes of the law, he is an adult. Unless you want to enter a tug or war that will leave you powerless and feeling defeated you must look at what you can control.... One thing is curfew. You can establish a curfew for your home...if he isn't home, he doesn't come in. Take his house key when you goes out at night. That way he has to knock to enter and you can check for any signs of impairment. Next you need to set up some rules. I can't stop my son from using marijuana, but I can let him know that it is not allowed in my home. I have to right to search his room. Anything I find is thrown away. When he was 18, I made him leave because he could not follow the rules of my home. He is now 20 and knows that if he can't live by my rules, he will have to find somewhere else to live. Finally, until you are sure he is not using, you cut off any money supply that could be used to purchase drugs. If he has a car that he uses to go to school, do not give him cash money for gas. Either drive him where he needs to go or take him to the station and pump the gas for him. Deny any access to cash from you. If you do that, lock up all valuables and hide your wallet. Have your daughter do the same. If he is using, and you cut him off, he may steal to get the money. Many young people who experiment with drugs and alcohol quickly move on. For a small # like my son, it becomes a way of life. Hopefully yours is just experimenting and by setting up some boundaries, he will see it is not worth it. You must protect your younger daughter. She has the right to live in a safe environment. If he is bringing and using drugs and bring other drug users into your home, she is not safe. [/QUOTE]
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