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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 757622" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>I will speak of resources here in the US. I am unfamiliar with options in your country but there may be something similar. Here there is Job Corps a federal, residential program that is free. Free training, room, board, college, finishing high school, etc. There is excellent supervision. Youth can go at age 16.</p><p></p><p>For adopted children (through the government) the counties can step in and pay for residential treatment, and extended support.</p><p></p><p>There is behavioral analysis where a specialist observes your son's behavior and develops a family intervention plan to target and extinguish his violent behaviors and outbursts.</p><p></p><p>At 16 you can talk to your son. It is not in his interests to remain violent. I think he needs to confront the truth. His behavior is making him unable to live with the younger children. If he does not want to address the problem and the family is at risk, there needs to be another option. This is reality. You didn't cause it.</p><p></p><p>He has an anger management problem which seems to only manifest at home. This is hopeful in that he shows he does have some control. How long does he have until college? Is there the possibility of his living with a relative or friend's family? I would involve him in decision making. By that I mean, family therapy, so he is aware that the family together has searched for any and every possible solution.</p><p></p><p>You are not messing up his future. You gave him a future by adopting him. I have an adopted son, too. When he was your son's age everything started to change and the genie never got back into the bottle. We tell ourselves that our love can handle anything. It can't. Our sons have other elements in their life stories for which we are not responsible and that we cannot squelch or remedy, no matter how much we try. That is just reality. Parents with genetic children deal with the same thing. It's life.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 757622, member: 18958"] I will speak of resources here in the US. I am unfamiliar with options in your country but there may be something similar. Here there is Job Corps a federal, residential program that is free. Free training, room, board, college, finishing high school, etc. There is excellent supervision. Youth can go at age 16. For adopted children (through the government) the counties can step in and pay for residential treatment, and extended support. There is behavioral analysis where a specialist observes your son's behavior and develops a family intervention plan to target and extinguish his violent behaviors and outbursts. At 16 you can talk to your son. It is not in his interests to remain violent. I think he needs to confront the truth. His behavior is making him unable to live with the younger children. If he does not want to address the problem and the family is at risk, there needs to be another option. This is reality. You didn't cause it. He has an anger management problem which seems to only manifest at home. This is hopeful in that he shows he does have some control. How long does he have until college? Is there the possibility of his living with a relative or friend's family? I would involve him in decision making. By that I mean, family therapy, so he is aware that the family together has searched for any and every possible solution. You are not messing up his future. You gave him a future by adopting him. I have an adopted son, too. When he was your son's age everything started to change and the genie never got back into the bottle. We tell ourselves that our love can handle anything. It can't. Our sons have other elements in their life stories for which we are not responsible and that we cannot squelch or remedy, no matter how much we try. That is just reality. Parents with genetic children deal with the same thing. It's life. [/QUOTE]
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