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General Parenting
Consequences for my difficult child who doesnt' care?
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 42281" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Have you taken him to an Fetal Alcohol Syndrome clinic because, if he is on the fetal alcohol spectrum (I adopted four kids, so I've read a lot about it) these kids have organic brain damage and do not respond to or learn from consequences. Most need monitoring all their lives so they can stay in control and not do anything to, say, break the law. They do not understand consequences, but it's not their faults--it's a real disorder. There is a lot of help out there now that wasn't available years ago. Nobody can tell you HERE why he doesn't respond, but I'd want to have neuropsychologist testing and visit a Fetal Alcohol Syndrome Clinic. We adopted our son at two, and took him to a great Fetal Alcohol Effects (FAE) Clinic in Chicago. It was VERY helpful because he had been exposed to stuff in utero. He had some dysmorphic features too. The results of the testing point to him NOT having alcohol effects because he does understand right from wrong and respond to consequences and he does remember things from one day to the next (no Swiss Cheese thinking), but who knows if his Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD)-not otherwise specified was caused by birthmother's drug use (and if she didn't say "no" to drugs, you know she didn't say "no" to booze). These drug affected kids are complicated, but if you can get a handle on what exactly is going on there is a lot of hope. My little guy is now almost fourteen and he is doing phenomenally well. It took a lot of digging to figure out what was wrong. Just do the best parenting you can and don't expect him to respond as a "regular" kid would, especially if drugs could have altered his brain chemistry. Just try to find professionals who had solid advice on how to handle him, what to expect, what is wrong, etc. Hugs and good luck.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 42281, member: 1550"] Have you taken him to an Fetal Alcohol Syndrome clinic because, if he is on the fetal alcohol spectrum (I adopted four kids, so I've read a lot about it) these kids have organic brain damage and do not respond to or learn from consequences. Most need monitoring all their lives so they can stay in control and not do anything to, say, break the law. They do not understand consequences, but it's not their faults--it's a real disorder. There is a lot of help out there now that wasn't available years ago. Nobody can tell you HERE why he doesn't respond, but I'd want to have neuropsychologist testing and visit a Fetal Alcohol Syndrome Clinic. We adopted our son at two, and took him to a great Fetal Alcohol Effects (FAE) Clinic in Chicago. It was VERY helpful because he had been exposed to stuff in utero. He had some dysmorphic features too. The results of the testing point to him NOT having alcohol effects because he does understand right from wrong and respond to consequences and he does remember things from one day to the next (no Swiss Cheese thinking), but who knows if his Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD)-not otherwise specified was caused by birthmother's drug use (and if she didn't say "no" to drugs, you know she didn't say "no" to booze). These drug affected kids are complicated, but if you can get a handle on what exactly is going on there is a lot of hope. My little guy is now almost fourteen and he is doing phenomenally well. It took a lot of digging to figure out what was wrong. Just do the best parenting you can and don't expect him to respond as a "regular" kid would, especially if drugs could have altered his brain chemistry. Just try to find professionals who had solid advice on how to handle him, what to expect, what is wrong, etc. Hugs and good luck. [/QUOTE]
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