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considering adopting 4 year old
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 280356" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Hi, Mary. </p><p></p><p>If you are already exhausted in my opinion don't do it. We had to say "no" as well, and, looking back, I'm very relieved that we did. Adopting disturbed children can be a lifelong sentence.</p><p></p><p></p><p>If she is sexually acting out, that means she has been sexually abused. Four year olds don't act out to get attention or to annoy. It IS about control, but it's so frightening for the other children. I wouldn't want a child I knew sexually acted out. And if she is hurting bugs and smiling I'd make darn sure you didn't own any pets. She may harm them or even kill them.</p><p></p><p>I adopted actually SIX kids. Two were disruptions--one sweet boy through no fault of his own (long story) but the other because he sexually abused our other kids and killed two of our dogs. After the dust has settled, I would not encourage anyone to adopt an older child. My guess is that the severe ODD is probably attachment disorder (Google it up). It is VERY hard to treat and to deal with and doesn't get better because you love the child. </p><p></p><p>It may be in the entire family's best interest not to add her to the family. The biological connection isn't everything. In the end, it's your call. Good luck!!!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 280356, member: 1550"] Hi, Mary. If you are already exhausted in my opinion don't do it. We had to say "no" as well, and, looking back, I'm very relieved that we did. Adopting disturbed children can be a lifelong sentence. If she is sexually acting out, that means she has been sexually abused. Four year olds don't act out to get attention or to annoy. It IS about control, but it's so frightening for the other children. I wouldn't want a child I knew sexually acted out. And if she is hurting bugs and smiling I'd make darn sure you didn't own any pets. She may harm them or even kill them. I adopted actually SIX kids. Two were disruptions--one sweet boy through no fault of his own (long story) but the other because he sexually abused our other kids and killed two of our dogs. After the dust has settled, I would not encourage anyone to adopt an older child. My guess is that the severe ODD is probably attachment disorder (Google it up). It is VERY hard to treat and to deal with and doesn't get better because you love the child. It may be in the entire family's best interest not to add her to the family. The biological connection isn't everything. In the end, it's your call. Good luck!!! [/QUOTE]
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