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Considering placement in ED room
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 401211" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>In NO way is putting him in an ED class "giving up" on him. It is giving him the help he needs. He will be in a smaller setting so there may be less reason for so many breaks. He should get work that is on his level in every subject. If that means kdg in one subject and fifth grade in another, then they should be able to work with that. They will also teach him the things he cannot learn by osmosis - the social stuff. They will be far more understanding of what he can and cannot do. I was one who thought that my kid just wouldn't need it. Then he had a couple of disastrous years in a very uncaring, rigid school. After we moved we went to talk to the school about enrolling him. I started asking about it in March or April the year before. I watned to know what they could and would offer. We had homeschooled for 2 years prior to moving and it was very intense in many wyas. Thre was no way he was going to sit through a boring lesson - he would walk away or go read a book. I didn't think it fair to him to suddenly have to learn entirely new patterns that fast, nor was it fair to the teachers and other kids to deal with him because when he is bored he was incredibly disruptive and he was almost always trying to cause trouble. We got blessed, honestly and ttruly blessed. He was in a class with 2 other students and 2 aides and a reg teacher. The teacher was amazing. She KNEW those kids and what they needed and she LOVED them (in a healthy way, of course). At the start one of the aides was male and cool. Just graduated with a degree in sp ed teaching and hadn't gotten his own classroom yet. Tall, played basketball for a small jr college before going to our college, and was happy to bring in his playstation to let the kids play games as a reward. He was also the FIRST adult male that the other 2 boys had ever had in their lives that behaved well. He took that in stride, showed them how to be respectful to women, to others and to themselves. He left for his own classroom right after the winter break, but flew back twice to see the kids. No family in town, a few college buddies, but would spend a full day with the kids. The other aide looked like a bleach blond rocker. She was incredible - scary smart, loved the kids, took just about anything they did in stride from kid things to boy things to abused kid things to mentally ill things. Nothing but knowing a child was being abused really fazed her. She and Wiz connected on a deep emotional level because she saw a lot of herself in him. The teacher was in her early 30's, funny, flappable but in a way that taught the kids how to handle getting upset, and just incredible with the kids. Really saw them as real people, not mini adults, and never as something to "manage". </p><p> </p><p>That year did a whole lot to help Wiz learn that he had the power to control his behavior and his choices, even if he was mad. The class had 7 by years end and a total of 3 restraints were used that year with ALL of them. They did more academics than many of them had done in 2 or 3 years before then. they also learned to "roll with it" - that just because it wasn't what you expected to happen didn't mean it was going to be awful and a disaster. And even if it WAS awful and a disaster you could laugh about it later and stay calm and learn that you can get through things you don't want/like/expect with-o causing major outbursts and disruptions. The class even went on its own field trips to small museums and to the huge masonic temple half an hour from here. The teacher took the kids out to a fancy fancy restaurant as a reward (on her own dime) and let them eat whatevr they wanted. They had all eaten bfast, snack and lunch together to work on manners and none of them was less than beautifully mannered at the restaurant!! It was the most amazing year. It was the best placement we ever had for him and it was incredible.</p><p> </p><p>They are not all like this. But the right placement makes a HUGE difference in a child's life. Your difficult child doesn't learn or function or think the way the other kids do and clearly is having a lot of problems. A placement is NOT giving up anymore than going to a different college from one of your friends was giving up. It is simply about finding what is the best fit. I took a lot of heat when I left a huge school to go to a smaller one to finish college. I needed the smaller atmosphere and the different things offered and my friends at the big college needed what that school had to offer. This is the SAME THING. Check out the class ahead of time, spend time in the class when your child is there. Be a room mom if you can - in 12 yrs of teaching I was the first room mom the teacher had ever had. The other moms were not high functioning or mentally healthy and when they did try to contribute it could be really strange in a bad way. So help out. If the class needs something and you know someone who could donate it, do what you can to arrange it. My dad was clearing out some things because he was a teacher who had a LOT of tools but was going to retire, so I passed what I could along. It really helped the teacher and it helped us work together as a team. </p><p> </p><p>Give it a chance. If it bombs you can always change it again, back to the classroom or to an even better place.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 401211, member: 1233"] In NO way is putting him in an ED class "giving up" on him. It is giving him the help he needs. He will be in a smaller setting so there may be less reason for so many breaks. He should get work that is on his level in every subject. If that means kdg in one subject and fifth grade in another, then they should be able to work with that. They will also teach him the things he cannot learn by osmosis - the social stuff. They will be far more understanding of what he can and cannot do. I was one who thought that my kid just wouldn't need it. Then he had a couple of disastrous years in a very uncaring, rigid school. After we moved we went to talk to the school about enrolling him. I started asking about it in March or April the year before. I watned to know what they could and would offer. We had homeschooled for 2 years prior to moving and it was very intense in many wyas. Thre was no way he was going to sit through a boring lesson - he would walk away or go read a book. I didn't think it fair to him to suddenly have to learn entirely new patterns that fast, nor was it fair to the teachers and other kids to deal with him because when he is bored he was incredibly disruptive and he was almost always trying to cause trouble. We got blessed, honestly and ttruly blessed. He was in a class with 2 other students and 2 aides and a reg teacher. The teacher was amazing. She KNEW those kids and what they needed and she LOVED them (in a healthy way, of course). At the start one of the aides was male and cool. Just graduated with a degree in sp ed teaching and hadn't gotten his own classroom yet. Tall, played basketball for a small jr college before going to our college, and was happy to bring in his playstation to let the kids play games as a reward. He was also the FIRST adult male that the other 2 boys had ever had in their lives that behaved well. He took that in stride, showed them how to be respectful to women, to others and to themselves. He left for his own classroom right after the winter break, but flew back twice to see the kids. No family in town, a few college buddies, but would spend a full day with the kids. The other aide looked like a bleach blond rocker. She was incredible - scary smart, loved the kids, took just about anything they did in stride from kid things to boy things to abused kid things to mentally ill things. Nothing but knowing a child was being abused really fazed her. She and Wiz connected on a deep emotional level because she saw a lot of herself in him. The teacher was in her early 30's, funny, flappable but in a way that taught the kids how to handle getting upset, and just incredible with the kids. Really saw them as real people, not mini adults, and never as something to "manage". That year did a whole lot to help Wiz learn that he had the power to control his behavior and his choices, even if he was mad. The class had 7 by years end and a total of 3 restraints were used that year with ALL of them. They did more academics than many of them had done in 2 or 3 years before then. they also learned to "roll with it" - that just because it wasn't what you expected to happen didn't mean it was going to be awful and a disaster. And even if it WAS awful and a disaster you could laugh about it later and stay calm and learn that you can get through things you don't want/like/expect with-o causing major outbursts and disruptions. The class even went on its own field trips to small museums and to the huge masonic temple half an hour from here. The teacher took the kids out to a fancy fancy restaurant as a reward (on her own dime) and let them eat whatevr they wanted. They had all eaten bfast, snack and lunch together to work on manners and none of them was less than beautifully mannered at the restaurant!! It was the most amazing year. It was the best placement we ever had for him and it was incredible. They are not all like this. But the right placement makes a HUGE difference in a child's life. Your difficult child doesn't learn or function or think the way the other kids do and clearly is having a lot of problems. A placement is NOT giving up anymore than going to a different college from one of your friends was giving up. It is simply about finding what is the best fit. I took a lot of heat when I left a huge school to go to a smaller one to finish college. I needed the smaller atmosphere and the different things offered and my friends at the big college needed what that school had to offer. This is the SAME THING. Check out the class ahead of time, spend time in the class when your child is there. Be a room mom if you can - in 12 yrs of teaching I was the first room mom the teacher had ever had. The other moms were not high functioning or mentally healthy and when they did try to contribute it could be really strange in a bad way. So help out. If the class needs something and you know someone who could donate it, do what you can to arrange it. My dad was clearing out some things because he was a teacher who had a LOT of tools but was going to retire, so I passed what I could along. It really helped the teacher and it helped us work together as a team. Give it a chance. If it bombs you can always change it again, back to the classroom or to an even better place. [/QUOTE]
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