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Constant Lying!
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 324533" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Ok, this is my unique (ahem) take on lying. First, do you think he just lies like he breathes? Does it serve a purpose or does he make things up to look better or just to get attention? Why am I asking, you think...</p><p></p><p>As a child I made up stories and it continued into adulthood. I have a serious personality disorder and, as God is my witness, I didn't realize how bad it was to lie. I just lied. My parents didn't lie. I did. Sometimes it was to get out of trouble. Sometimes it was to get attention because my own life was boring as opposed to my made up stories. Some of it was not keeping promises to other people (a form of lying...as in: "Do you promise not to tell Mom?" "Sure, I won't tell her." Then I did and didn't realize I was breaching promises/lying with my answer). I learned a cold and hard lesson about lying and now I almost tell the truth TOO MUCH (as in I have told all to the forum members where others may have held back). Maybe my "too much" is part of the borderline "all or nothing" but I much prefer the truth. by the way, dissociation of a lesser degree than DID can and does take place with borderline, although I never heard a little voice inside my head telling me to do anything...</p><p></p><p>My diagnoses were what you see below, however, my biggest problem was never diagnosed formally, but I know I have it: "Borderline personality disorder" and you often lie like a biotch when you have a personality disorer. Your child is young and I'm sure you can't know yet why he/she lies completely. However, this is why *I* did. I have needed a lot of therapy to stop doing it. It became just a way of life, which is scary. I'm not sure what you can do about a child who simply is not in touch with how betrayed somebody feels when you lie to him/her. But I do wish you tons and tons of luck and think you should seek out answers with any professional you can find. I wish I'd found out sooner before I started losing people who were close to me and that I loved. Not getting help because of a few bad experiences will not help your child and normal parenting methods are unlikely to help. Rather than a Therapist, I'd see a psychatrist...make sure he or she has a good rep with kids. There are lemons in all fields. You may also want to try a neuropsychologist.</p><p></p><p>My experience with Aspie/Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) kids is that they don't lie much and, when they do, they don't do a very good job of it. My son is on the Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) spectrum and he is always shocked when somebody breaks a rule or swears. Not sure he feels the same about lying, but I haven't caught him in TOO many lies and when I do he fesses up fast rather than insisting, like I used to insist, that the lie was the truth. THAT is a much bigger problem.</p><p></p><p>I wish there was a diagnosis and special treatment for lying because so many of our difficult child's have that problem, and it means so many different things.</p><p></p><p>I don't know if this helped...I was just trying to give you a bit of insight into my own special situation. I do think personality disorders cause lying. I don't know what else does. It's not a good thing to do, for sure. It bites you in the butt!<img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/sick.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":sick:" title="sick :sick:" data-shortname=":sick:" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 324533, member: 1550"] Ok, this is my unique (ahem) take on lying. First, do you think he just lies like he breathes? Does it serve a purpose or does he make things up to look better or just to get attention? Why am I asking, you think... As a child I made up stories and it continued into adulthood. I have a serious personality disorder and, as God is my witness, I didn't realize how bad it was to lie. I just lied. My parents didn't lie. I did. Sometimes it was to get out of trouble. Sometimes it was to get attention because my own life was boring as opposed to my made up stories. Some of it was not keeping promises to other people (a form of lying...as in: "Do you promise not to tell Mom?" "Sure, I won't tell her." Then I did and didn't realize I was breaching promises/lying with my answer). I learned a cold and hard lesson about lying and now I almost tell the truth TOO MUCH (as in I have told all to the forum members where others may have held back). Maybe my "too much" is part of the borderline "all or nothing" but I much prefer the truth. by the way, dissociation of a lesser degree than DID can and does take place with borderline, although I never heard a little voice inside my head telling me to do anything... My diagnoses were what you see below, however, my biggest problem was never diagnosed formally, but I know I have it: "Borderline personality disorder" and you often lie like a biotch when you have a personality disorer. Your child is young and I'm sure you can't know yet why he/she lies completely. However, this is why *I* did. I have needed a lot of therapy to stop doing it. It became just a way of life, which is scary. I'm not sure what you can do about a child who simply is not in touch with how betrayed somebody feels when you lie to him/her. But I do wish you tons and tons of luck and think you should seek out answers with any professional you can find. I wish I'd found out sooner before I started losing people who were close to me and that I loved. Not getting help because of a few bad experiences will not help your child and normal parenting methods are unlikely to help. Rather than a Therapist, I'd see a psychatrist...make sure he or she has a good rep with kids. There are lemons in all fields. You may also want to try a neuropsychologist. My experience with Aspie/Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) kids is that they don't lie much and, when they do, they don't do a very good job of it. My son is on the Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) spectrum and he is always shocked when somebody breaks a rule or swears. Not sure he feels the same about lying, but I haven't caught him in TOO many lies and when I do he fesses up fast rather than insisting, like I used to insist, that the lie was the truth. THAT is a much bigger problem. I wish there was a diagnosis and special treatment for lying because so many of our difficult child's have that problem, and it means so many different things. I don't know if this helped...I was just trying to give you a bit of insight into my own special situation. I do think personality disorders cause lying. I don't know what else does. It's not a good thing to do, for sure. It bites you in the butt!:sick: [/QUOTE]
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