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<blockquote data-quote="Byrd" data-source="post: 297630" data-attributes="member: 7845"><p>Thank you Marg for your thoughts. I appreciate them. It's funny, but the comment that others can see their own families in my descriptions makes the most impact. I guess we don't want to feel alone.</p><p> </p><p>With regard to the evaluation...I will definitely be taking difficult child to be tested. I see no problem with it and can only imagine that it will benefit us in the long run. After all, knowledge is power.</p><p> </p><p>Natural consequences. It's funny that you mention this. I have been a teacher for 10 years (and actually one that very often is given the challenging children because of my style). I have always used Love & Logic - the idea that every action has a consequence, either good or bad. I do this with my boys at home all the time. I give them choices..."Do you want bubbles in your bath or no bubbles?" "Do you want to go to bed now or in five minutes?"</p><p></p><p>The problem arises when difficult child decides to attack someone. I don't have a choice I can give him because it is a safety issue. And the only natural consequence is to remove him from the room...which he hates! My dad suggested that when he does this, everyone else gets up and leaves (gives him a time-out without him moving).</p><p> </p><p>I do notice that when I inundate the boys with choices...to the point of silliness "Do you want to put your right sock on first or your left sock?" "Do you want to brush your hair first or your teeth?" They tend to behave better. They do get frustrated with all of my choices though. But I really do feel like I give them as many choices as possible and allow them to learn through natural consequences as long as it is not a safety issue. I have always done this well.</p><p> </p><p>Well, my exchange student just woke up and we need to get him some breakfast. He just arrived from Germany last night.</p><p> </p><p>Thanks again for the support and advice. Keep it coming.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Byrd, post: 297630, member: 7845"] Thank you Marg for your thoughts. I appreciate them. It's funny, but the comment that others can see their own families in my descriptions makes the most impact. I guess we don't want to feel alone. With regard to the evaluation...I will definitely be taking difficult child to be tested. I see no problem with it and can only imagine that it will benefit us in the long run. After all, knowledge is power. Natural consequences. It's funny that you mention this. I have been a teacher for 10 years (and actually one that very often is given the challenging children because of my style). I have always used Love & Logic - the idea that every action has a consequence, either good or bad. I do this with my boys at home all the time. I give them choices..."Do you want bubbles in your bath or no bubbles?" "Do you want to go to bed now or in five minutes?" The problem arises when difficult child decides to attack someone. I don't have a choice I can give him because it is a safety issue. And the only natural consequence is to remove him from the room...which he hates! My dad suggested that when he does this, everyone else gets up and leaves (gives him a time-out without him moving). I do notice that when I inundate the boys with choices...to the point of silliness "Do you want to put your right sock on first or your left sock?" "Do you want to brush your hair first or your teeth?" They tend to behave better. They do get frustrated with all of my choices though. But I really do feel like I give them as many choices as possible and allow them to learn through natural consequences as long as it is not a safety issue. I have always done this well. Well, my exchange student just woke up and we need to get him some breakfast. He just arrived from Germany last night. Thanks again for the support and advice. Keep it coming. [/QUOTE]
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