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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 297768" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>I'm grabbing a few minutes here, I justchecked in briefly. So bear with me.</p><p></p><p>It happened to difficult child 3. He'd been given contradictory instructions by two different teachers. He was also not well known by the rest of the staff (he was only at this school one term).</p><p></p><p>Class teacher gave difficult child 3 his Communication Book and told him to put it on his desk. Then he left. Next teacher called the class together and said, "We are all going to the school hall to watch a film (difficult child 3 gets anxious watching a new film). difficult child 3 said, "Class teacher said Ihave to put this book on his desk."</p><p>New teacher said, "All the calss must now go to the hall. You are too late to put the book on the desk, you should have done it before."</p><p>difficult child 3 went to the hall but increasingly agitated and by the time he got to the hall he was raging because the new teacher wouldn't listen to him or let him do what he had been asked to do. difficult child 3 began throwing chairs around in his raging. The principal was called and meanwhile the rest of the school were removed from the hall while they waited for difficult child 3 to calm down. I think the principal took the book from difficult child 3 and promised to put it on class teacher's desk for him. difficult child 3 was calmed down enough to be removed, the rest of the school went into the hall, difficult child 3 was in the principal's office getting debriefed. difficult child 3 was not punished - the class teacher understood that the conflicting instructions plus infexibility of new teacher were contributing factors, and difficult child 3 simply couldn't control his outburst when sufficiently enraged. Punishment wouldn't have achieved anything; difficult child 3 was already extremely contrite. I suspect thye gave him some chores to do, that was the level of punishment. Class teacher said to me, "I understand now why you say that Communication Book's location/movement should NEVER be the child's responsibility. The book is too important."</p><p></p><p>I was pleased that the end problem was handled so compassionately, but annoyed that the new teacher allowed it to escalate. Class teacher said to me, "I wish I had been there, bnut I had to be in a meeting. If I had been tere I would simply have said to him, "Run back and put the book on my desk, then come to the hall.' I know I could have trusted him to do exactly what he was told."</p><p></p><p>THis incident was a part factor in us removing him - we were happy with how class teacher was, and principal - but there were just too many other teachers who didn't have the understanding needed to avoid escalations, and every escalation was a step backwards in difficult child 3's progress and especially in trying to REDUCE his extreme anxiety. Perhaps because of this incident, we had a return to the nausea when attending school and we knew it would just be a matter of time before the daily vomitting began. But we didn't go away mad, not at all.</p><p></p><p>If they had tried to physically remove difficult child 3 as an alternative, it would have been much messier. Someone would have been injured, it would have taken longer and there would have been a lot more paperwork to fill out. The other kids were only kept waiting for about five minutes. Being in a room on your own throwing a tantrum - the tantrum wears off much faster when you're deprived of an audience, it starts to feel very silly.</p><p></p><p>Gotta run now! Off Occupational Therapist (OT) meet easy child 2/difficult child 2 and check out her florist for the wedding bouquets... see? They CAN grow up to be (sort of) normal...</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 297768, member: 1991"] I'm grabbing a few minutes here, I justchecked in briefly. So bear with me. It happened to difficult child 3. He'd been given contradictory instructions by two different teachers. He was also not well known by the rest of the staff (he was only at this school one term). Class teacher gave difficult child 3 his Communication Book and told him to put it on his desk. Then he left. Next teacher called the class together and said, "We are all going to the school hall to watch a film (difficult child 3 gets anxious watching a new film). difficult child 3 said, "Class teacher said Ihave to put this book on his desk." New teacher said, "All the calss must now go to the hall. You are too late to put the book on the desk, you should have done it before." difficult child 3 went to the hall but increasingly agitated and by the time he got to the hall he was raging because the new teacher wouldn't listen to him or let him do what he had been asked to do. difficult child 3 began throwing chairs around in his raging. The principal was called and meanwhile the rest of the school were removed from the hall while they waited for difficult child 3 to calm down. I think the principal took the book from difficult child 3 and promised to put it on class teacher's desk for him. difficult child 3 was calmed down enough to be removed, the rest of the school went into the hall, difficult child 3 was in the principal's office getting debriefed. difficult child 3 was not punished - the class teacher understood that the conflicting instructions plus infexibility of new teacher were contributing factors, and difficult child 3 simply couldn't control his outburst when sufficiently enraged. Punishment wouldn't have achieved anything; difficult child 3 was already extremely contrite. I suspect thye gave him some chores to do, that was the level of punishment. Class teacher said to me, "I understand now why you say that Communication Book's location/movement should NEVER be the child's responsibility. The book is too important." I was pleased that the end problem was handled so compassionately, but annoyed that the new teacher allowed it to escalate. Class teacher said to me, "I wish I had been there, bnut I had to be in a meeting. If I had been tere I would simply have said to him, "Run back and put the book on my desk, then come to the hall.' I know I could have trusted him to do exactly what he was told." THis incident was a part factor in us removing him - we were happy with how class teacher was, and principal - but there were just too many other teachers who didn't have the understanding needed to avoid escalations, and every escalation was a step backwards in difficult child 3's progress and especially in trying to REDUCE his extreme anxiety. Perhaps because of this incident, we had a return to the nausea when attending school and we knew it would just be a matter of time before the daily vomitting began. But we didn't go away mad, not at all. If they had tried to physically remove difficult child 3 as an alternative, it would have been much messier. Someone would have been injured, it would have taken longer and there would have been a lot more paperwork to fill out. The other kids were only kept waiting for about five minutes. Being in a room on your own throwing a tantrum - the tantrum wears off much faster when you're deprived of an audience, it starts to feel very silly. Gotta run now! Off Occupational Therapist (OT) meet easy child 2/difficult child 2 and check out her florist for the wedding bouquets... see? They CAN grow up to be (sort of) normal... Marg [/QUOTE]
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