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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 417681" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>Wouldn't be up hiw head if I were you!</p><p> </p><p>Shari, I don't mean to upset you or make you feel like you have to justify ANY relationship you choose to have. I am sure you only post a fraction of the problems of this nature that you and husband create. Yes, YOU and husband. relationships are choices. Have you ever explored with a therapist exactly WHY you are in a marriage with this man? If he were great all around I could understand tolerating the inlaws. Fact is, at least from what you have posted here, he isn't close to great by a heck of a lot. I KNOW you feel wee should have a father figure, and that this is not an easy thing to even think about. Esp now while you are still recovering. </p><p> </p><p>in my opinion this action was just neglectful or careless, it really shows how he feels about YOU. Is that what you want from a partner? Someone who will go off if your adult child doesn't do something perfectly and yet won't do even very simple, basic things to help himself and even fewer things to show ANY consideration for you? he could have KILLED you with that radiator stunt. He likely will do, or something else equally awful in the near future.</p><p> </p><p>If this is what you want in a husband, that is your chioce and I will fully and completely support you in it. If you choose to leave, I will also fully and completely support you. Please get an appointment with a therapist or counselor to talk about this. There are reasons that you are with a man who does these things on an extremely regular (constant? consistant?) basis. Before the appointment, think about the good and bad in your relationship - write it out on papaer. Think about your ideal spouse and write that out to. Then think about why you are willing to settle/tolerate husband when he is clearly NOT meeting YOUR needs. The accident was, I am sure, a huge wakeup call for you. Do you want to look back on your life and be glad you grabbed for the brass ring, or that you chose to stay with someone who doesn't truly care and value you?</p><p> </p><p>You do NOT have to reply to this, but I would like you to at least think about it.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 417681, member: 1233"] Wouldn't be up hiw head if I were you! Shari, I don't mean to upset you or make you feel like you have to justify ANY relationship you choose to have. I am sure you only post a fraction of the problems of this nature that you and husband create. Yes, YOU and husband. relationships are choices. Have you ever explored with a therapist exactly WHY you are in a marriage with this man? If he were great all around I could understand tolerating the inlaws. Fact is, at least from what you have posted here, he isn't close to great by a heck of a lot. I KNOW you feel wee should have a father figure, and that this is not an easy thing to even think about. Esp now while you are still recovering. in my opinion this action was just neglectful or careless, it really shows how he feels about YOU. Is that what you want from a partner? Someone who will go off if your adult child doesn't do something perfectly and yet won't do even very simple, basic things to help himself and even fewer things to show ANY consideration for you? he could have KILLED you with that radiator stunt. He likely will do, or something else equally awful in the near future. If this is what you want in a husband, that is your chioce and I will fully and completely support you in it. If you choose to leave, I will also fully and completely support you. Please get an appointment with a therapist or counselor to talk about this. There are reasons that you are with a man who does these things on an extremely regular (constant? consistant?) basis. Before the appointment, think about the good and bad in your relationship - write it out on papaer. Think about your ideal spouse and write that out to. Then think about why you are willing to settle/tolerate husband when he is clearly NOT meeting YOUR needs. The accident was, I am sure, a huge wakeup call for you. Do you want to look back on your life and be glad you grabbed for the brass ring, or that you chose to stay with someone who doesn't truly care and value you? You do NOT have to reply to this, but I would like you to at least think about it. [/QUOTE]
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