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could use some advice
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<blockquote data-quote="Jena" data-source="post: 414436" data-attributes="member: 4514"><p>hi guys....</p><p> </p><p>that's alot of great stuff. thanks! i have a team mtg at her school today at 2:00 whereas i've called together the entire lot of teachers, guidance counselor, etc. because sh'es been melting down over school failing, etc. and therapist said shes' basically overwhelmed.</p><p> </p><p>So, I do not think she has any mood disorder at all, the ssri isn't working because shes' adding alot of alcohol to it and also isnt' taking them daily now and it needs to be titrated up. we started at 25, than 50 now she has to go to 75.</p><p> </p><p>I did take labtop, we bought it for her for xmas. I will keep it for a while, and return it to her when she has reports to do and only than. she does alot of schoolwork on it.</p><p> </p><p>for right now there is NO WAY i'm purchasing her a vehicle. she will crack it and herself up. she is drinking every weekend it seems.</p><p> </p><p>I am not sure about the cell, we were thinking of switching it out to one with-a gps inside of it so we can track her on nights she disappears.</p><p> </p><p>today she made her lunch for school. that's how it'll be rest of year.</p><p> </p><p>the only money shes' been handed is 5 bucks a day for lunch in school, and on occassion i'll throw her ten dollars on weekends.</p><p> </p><p>drinking does occur with alot of kids this age, yet truth is it isn't ok. she is 17 not 18 yet. she drinks and ofcourse doesnt' do it infront of me, yet i know it's going on. not ok. she has claimed that at parties kids do alot of drugs. so she adopted drinking and smoking cigarettes because she feels shes doing right thing by not "using". Yes GREAT, yet alcohol is a drug and she's drinking on a reg. basis with an ssri in place.</p><p> </p><p>as far as grounding goes i think i'm going to discuss with therapist when she returns next week what we should set up. for this week she's def. in.</p><p> </p><p>i won't can graduation for now. we dont even know if she'll graduate at this point. thats' what meeting today is about.</p><p> </p><p>last time she pulled this and the shoplifting she was in the house for a month. i did start therapy and medications at that point and threw in horse back riding. that she quit by the way. she i think didn't think it was a "cool" activity. she also has been looking for a job weekly yet hasnt gotten a call back.</p><p> </p><p>so i know i've done all the right things, stayed consistent in the grounding when i do it i stick to it. i added in the therapy and the medications and gave her an opportunity to work her junk out. </p><p> </p><p>i dont want to be her friend, id' love to someday when she's an adult yet now i gotta be the mean mom. there is no other way with this kid. you give her too much rope she hangs herself.</p><p> </p><p>I def. think whoever mentioned she's trying to find herself is correct. her ex best friend no longer speaks to her. she now she's ganged up with these 3 other girls. one just got her license and has quite the home life story, another is out of high school and older (bad news there) also a bad horrific home life story and some other girl i have no clue who she is.</p><p> </p><p>yet the 3 of them are on her facebook with them drinking wine, beer, etc. easy child is dressed well nasty, she's got push up bra on and shes' hanging out all over the place with drink in hand. yuck!</p><p> </p><p>so we'll see what comes of meeting today. i havent' had a "sit down" with her yet. I told myself when she showed up yesterday i wouldnt'. wanted to keep it calm for myself and difficult child last night. plus better to let emotions calm before going into it.</p><p> </p><p>sorry so long. we'll see what she does. husband was confused and said she was doing so well, you've been excellent with her i dont' get why she flipped the script so suddenly. i said it's time to not wonder anymore and just take action. done figuring her out that's for her to do.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Jena, post: 414436, member: 4514"] hi guys.... that's alot of great stuff. thanks! i have a team mtg at her school today at 2:00 whereas i've called together the entire lot of teachers, guidance counselor, etc. because sh'es been melting down over school failing, etc. and therapist said shes' basically overwhelmed. So, I do not think she has any mood disorder at all, the ssri isn't working because shes' adding alot of alcohol to it and also isnt' taking them daily now and it needs to be titrated up. we started at 25, than 50 now she has to go to 75. I did take labtop, we bought it for her for xmas. I will keep it for a while, and return it to her when she has reports to do and only than. she does alot of schoolwork on it. for right now there is NO WAY i'm purchasing her a vehicle. she will crack it and herself up. she is drinking every weekend it seems. I am not sure about the cell, we were thinking of switching it out to one with-a gps inside of it so we can track her on nights she disappears. today she made her lunch for school. that's how it'll be rest of year. the only money shes' been handed is 5 bucks a day for lunch in school, and on occassion i'll throw her ten dollars on weekends. drinking does occur with alot of kids this age, yet truth is it isn't ok. she is 17 not 18 yet. she drinks and ofcourse doesnt' do it infront of me, yet i know it's going on. not ok. she has claimed that at parties kids do alot of drugs. so she adopted drinking and smoking cigarettes because she feels shes doing right thing by not "using". Yes GREAT, yet alcohol is a drug and she's drinking on a reg. basis with an ssri in place. as far as grounding goes i think i'm going to discuss with therapist when she returns next week what we should set up. for this week she's def. in. i won't can graduation for now. we dont even know if she'll graduate at this point. thats' what meeting today is about. last time she pulled this and the shoplifting she was in the house for a month. i did start therapy and medications at that point and threw in horse back riding. that she quit by the way. she i think didn't think it was a "cool" activity. she also has been looking for a job weekly yet hasnt gotten a call back. so i know i've done all the right things, stayed consistent in the grounding when i do it i stick to it. i added in the therapy and the medications and gave her an opportunity to work her junk out. i dont want to be her friend, id' love to someday when she's an adult yet now i gotta be the mean mom. there is no other way with this kid. you give her too much rope she hangs herself. I def. think whoever mentioned she's trying to find herself is correct. her ex best friend no longer speaks to her. she now she's ganged up with these 3 other girls. one just got her license and has quite the home life story, another is out of high school and older (bad news there) also a bad horrific home life story and some other girl i have no clue who she is. yet the 3 of them are on her facebook with them drinking wine, beer, etc. easy child is dressed well nasty, she's got push up bra on and shes' hanging out all over the place with drink in hand. yuck! so we'll see what comes of meeting today. i havent' had a "sit down" with her yet. I told myself when she showed up yesterday i wouldnt'. wanted to keep it calm for myself and difficult child last night. plus better to let emotions calm before going into it. sorry so long. we'll see what she does. husband was confused and said she was doing so well, you've been excellent with her i dont' get why she flipped the script so suddenly. i said it's time to not wonder anymore and just take action. done figuring her out that's for her to do. [/QUOTE]
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