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could use some advice
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<blockquote data-quote="rlsnights" data-source="post: 414519" data-attributes="member: 7948"><p>Well, I think I know what you mean about her not having a "mood" disorder. You mean you see her depression as situational or a temporary reaction to something - not an ongoing state. And I respect your sense about that. But I feel like I really need to share some of the things I've learned about BiPolar (BP) after having been mis-diagnosed for something like 30 years. Hope you understand.</p><p></p><p>The problem with bipolar (speaking from personal experience) is that it can look a lot like what you are describing. And the way it looks from the outside varies a lot - one of the reasons it can be really hard to diagnose, especially in adolescents.</p><p></p><p>Defiance in people with bipolar is often grandiosity. In BiPolar (BP) kids rebellion against parents/authority is grandiose thinking. They are better than or know more than adults - to the point of almost delusional thinking. A "normal" teen may have times when they think like this but you can reason with them to some extent. They are still in touch with the reality that there are some adults in some situations where the adults must be respected and really do know what they are talking about.</p><p></p><p>A BiPolar (BP) teen is likely to be unable to recognize that. Their distorted thinking is on a train track heading for disaster and they cannot be de-railed because their brain is telling them that what they think/feel is true/correct/real.</p><p></p><p>Depression is also the typical first presentation with adolescent bipolar kids. She sure sounds like a difficult child to me and I would want to try to rule out bipolar before I gave her any more SSRI = not that that's an issue at the moment.</p><p></p><p>Regardless of that, the behavior is over the line and needs to be confronted.</p><p></p><p>Why are you not reporting her as a runaway/missing when she's gone overnight? Cause the police won't take the report? If it were me I would make a report. Here we can make a report ourselves online at the police department website if it's a property crime or certain other crimes. If the officers won't take a report, I'd check into making one some other way. I would want someone to know that I had been trying to be a good parent so there was no question about my willingness to take care of her and my commitment to providing appropriate supervision.</p><p></p><p>I pay the school directly for school lunches and the kids have nothing to do with handling the money. Ever. And they can't get any money from the school lunch ladies.</p><p></p><p>I would not pay for anything for her. She is stealing from you when she uses her lunch money this way.</p><p></p><p>Is rehab an option or has she already been there done that and is still doing this stuff? If you think this is a "fling" well it sure sounds like a GFGish fling. And I would not be pulling my punches with her. No anything as long as she's drinking and staying away from home and by the way I'd tell her I am reporting you as violating curfew and running away.</p><p></p><p>Tough love time in my book.</p><p></p><p>Hugs,</p><p></p><p>Patricia</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="rlsnights, post: 414519, member: 7948"] Well, I think I know what you mean about her not having a "mood" disorder. You mean you see her depression as situational or a temporary reaction to something - not an ongoing state. And I respect your sense about that. But I feel like I really need to share some of the things I've learned about BiPolar (BP) after having been mis-diagnosed for something like 30 years. Hope you understand. The problem with bipolar (speaking from personal experience) is that it can look a lot like what you are describing. And the way it looks from the outside varies a lot - one of the reasons it can be really hard to diagnose, especially in adolescents. Defiance in people with bipolar is often grandiosity. In BiPolar (BP) kids rebellion against parents/authority is grandiose thinking. They are better than or know more than adults - to the point of almost delusional thinking. A "normal" teen may have times when they think like this but you can reason with them to some extent. They are still in touch with the reality that there are some adults in some situations where the adults must be respected and really do know what they are talking about. A BiPolar (BP) teen is likely to be unable to recognize that. Their distorted thinking is on a train track heading for disaster and they cannot be de-railed because their brain is telling them that what they think/feel is true/correct/real. Depression is also the typical first presentation with adolescent bipolar kids. She sure sounds like a difficult child to me and I would want to try to rule out bipolar before I gave her any more SSRI = not that that's an issue at the moment. Regardless of that, the behavior is over the line and needs to be confronted. Why are you not reporting her as a runaway/missing when she's gone overnight? Cause the police won't take the report? If it were me I would make a report. Here we can make a report ourselves online at the police department website if it's a property crime or certain other crimes. If the officers won't take a report, I'd check into making one some other way. I would want someone to know that I had been trying to be a good parent so there was no question about my willingness to take care of her and my commitment to providing appropriate supervision. I pay the school directly for school lunches and the kids have nothing to do with handling the money. Ever. And they can't get any money from the school lunch ladies. I would not pay for anything for her. She is stealing from you when she uses her lunch money this way. Is rehab an option or has she already been there done that and is still doing this stuff? If you think this is a "fling" well it sure sounds like a GFGish fling. And I would not be pulling my punches with her. No anything as long as she's drinking and staying away from home and by the way I'd tell her I am reporting you as violating curfew and running away. Tough love time in my book. Hugs, Patricia [/QUOTE]
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