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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 111271" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>HI and welcome, </p><p></p><p>My son wasn't into the drug scene, but he was arrested this year for theft. He went to Department of Juvenile Justice, then home and was so disrespectful we called our caseworker and told them he needed to be placed somewhere or something bad was going to happen. </p><p></p><p>The group home difficult child is at isn't what I would call "a great place" it's a roof, and a meal. He's supposed to be learning how life is without your parents there always picking up the pieces. I've seen him once time since September. I'm not to send him any money or gifts or anything. HE's to do it all on his own. </p><p></p><p>I think Vicky told you about as straight as you're going to hear it. And had it not been for difficult child's caseworker - we were going to throw Dude out as well. Amazingly enough - he is just starting to see that home wasn't such a hole. MOm and Dad were not Nazi's, and you DO have to work to get the things you want, because if you steal you get really nasty room mates. I would recommend you read a book called Tough Love - cover to cover. </p><p></p><p>He's 17, he's making bad choices, and I can't see where things at bio dads are going to help at all. But brining him back home to your two angels - is NOT going to help them at all. Detach from this child and his problems the best you can. Get someone to talk to if it will help, and always let him know you love him - but don't ever let him wipe his feet on you again. </p><p></p><p>I'm facing a similar situation with difficult child being curious about biomorons family - 11 years to keep him away from them and he gets to a phone, calls them and throws it up in my face. I am so thankful I could detach because while I'm not over it - and it does bother me - at least I am not bringing it up to him - I've had to let it go. I think that is freaking him out - like I don't care, it didn't get a rise in me - (past telling him the cell phone I was thinking out getting him was out due to me not wanting to pay for calls to them) and so maybe by learning how to detach I've actually helped him. </p><p></p><p>Harder than it sounds - I know. </p><p></p><p>Hugs</p><p>Star</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 111271, member: 4964"] HI and welcome, My son wasn't into the drug scene, but he was arrested this year for theft. He went to Department of Juvenile Justice, then home and was so disrespectful we called our caseworker and told them he needed to be placed somewhere or something bad was going to happen. The group home difficult child is at isn't what I would call "a great place" it's a roof, and a meal. He's supposed to be learning how life is without your parents there always picking up the pieces. I've seen him once time since September. I'm not to send him any money or gifts or anything. HE's to do it all on his own. I think Vicky told you about as straight as you're going to hear it. And had it not been for difficult child's caseworker - we were going to throw Dude out as well. Amazingly enough - he is just starting to see that home wasn't such a hole. MOm and Dad were not Nazi's, and you DO have to work to get the things you want, because if you steal you get really nasty room mates. I would recommend you read a book called Tough Love - cover to cover. He's 17, he's making bad choices, and I can't see where things at bio dads are going to help at all. But brining him back home to your two angels - is NOT going to help them at all. Detach from this child and his problems the best you can. Get someone to talk to if it will help, and always let him know you love him - but don't ever let him wipe his feet on you again. I'm facing a similar situation with difficult child being curious about biomorons family - 11 years to keep him away from them and he gets to a phone, calls them and throws it up in my face. I am so thankful I could detach because while I'm not over it - and it does bother me - at least I am not bringing it up to him - I've had to let it go. I think that is freaking him out - like I don't care, it didn't get a rise in me - (past telling him the cell phone I was thinking out getting him was out due to me not wanting to pay for calls to them) and so maybe by learning how to detach I've actually helped him. Harder than it sounds - I know. Hugs Star [/QUOTE]
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