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Substance Abuse
Couple thoughts from rehab
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 515123" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Thanks TL. I appreciate what you shared. My difficult child is not a substance abuser, however there are so many similarities as a parent. Since I am in an odd place of leaving town while my difficult child is homeless, it helped to read about your decision to not talk to your difficult child for 3 weeks because <em>your gut says that you need to hold back. </em>I feel that as well, and it bothers me that I will be so far away, but my intuition tells me that having limited or no contact is the right thing to do right now. Apparently, my difficult child feels the same way since I haven't heard from her either.</p><p></p><p>I'm sure we all have these thoughts, but the other night I had dinner with a dear girlfriend of mine who knows this situation inside out. She asked me, "have you given any thought to how you would feel if your difficult child died?" Yikes. I've thought about that in those dark moments at night when I can't sleep, but no one has ever asked me that before. It was such a direct hit to my heart. What would I do? Would I blame myself? Would I feel guilty for the rest of my life? Hearing someone else state that out loud was a truth grenade of some magnitude. Being that my difficult child is living out there in her car, she is not safe. That may be the greatest fear I have. And, that I couldn't protect her. I hear other parents on this site talk about their feelings when their kids are on the streets, I think we all share a common fear.</p><p></p><p>When our children are mentally incapable, it is so difficult to leave them to their own devices. And yet, what else can we do when they won't help themselves?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 515123, member: 13542"] Thanks TL. I appreciate what you shared. My difficult child is not a substance abuser, however there are so many similarities as a parent. Since I am in an odd place of leaving town while my difficult child is homeless, it helped to read about your decision to not talk to your difficult child for 3 weeks because [I]your gut says that you need to hold back. [/I]I feel that as well, and it bothers me that I will be so far away, but my intuition tells me that having limited or no contact is the right thing to do right now. Apparently, my difficult child feels the same way since I haven't heard from her either. I'm sure we all have these thoughts, but the other night I had dinner with a dear girlfriend of mine who knows this situation inside out. She asked me, "have you given any thought to how you would feel if your difficult child died?" Yikes. I've thought about that in those dark moments at night when I can't sleep, but no one has ever asked me that before. It was such a direct hit to my heart. What would I do? Would I blame myself? Would I feel guilty for the rest of my life? Hearing someone else state that out loud was a truth grenade of some magnitude. Being that my difficult child is living out there in her car, she is not safe. That may be the greatest fear I have. And, that I couldn't protect her. I hear other parents on this site talk about their feelings when their kids are on the streets, I think we all share a common fear. When our children are mentally incapable, it is so difficult to leave them to their own devices. And yet, what else can we do when they won't help themselves? [/QUOTE]
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