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<blockquote data-quote="klmno" data-source="post: 153102" data-attributes="member: 3699"><p>Thanks, Witz! This stems from him leaving house without permission for 2 hours and during a period (as in lately) when I knew he was cycling. I called police and reported it to her. Yes, it was wrong. But, the rest of the story- he came home on his own and apologizing. Officer came back to house and lectured difficult child and helped me on phone with kid who all of a sudden found it necessary to be calling my son 5 times a day. I knew something stunk about this. (This was on a Sun. ) So, on the following Thurs., difficult child was put on monitor by PO. Still cycling - like the monitor will cure it. Next morning, difficult child is all emotional- ok, in a depressive cycle- he can't go to school and is all a mess. My behavior management only made him worse, so I took a time out. I went back to him to do problem solving- at which time he started opening up about big problems with other kids at school. He agreed to discuss with school admin if I would go, so I called and we did this. Then, he also told admin people at end of meeting that the kid who can't quit calling is buying drugs and alcohol at school and he tells them who was selling. They check into it and find that this is true- they are busted. So, school is happy because difficult child helped "clean up" school. I'm not happy because difficult child is still cycling and destroying everything and giving me fits- however- I am VERY happy that difficult child did work through the mental process of "even though I don't have any friends, this kid isn't a good friend for me to make, I'm getting in more trouble, no I don't want to get involved in doing drugs, I think I should report them." Now, if they were older and only a small amount of drugs were involved, I can't honestly say I want my son to be a snitch- but this was a large amount and we are talking 13 yo. And, then a few days later I take him to psychiatric hospital- shocking to me, he didn't require a tdo- he let me take him. While there, they give him a urine test for drugs and he hasn't done any!! YIPEE!!</p><p></p><p>But, of course- he definitely is not an angel and it is a constant battle. But for crying out loud, ignoring good decisions or efforts instead of acknowledging them will not help rid the bad behavior. in my humble opinion.</p><p></p><p>So, instead of PO looking at this- even when the school is thrilled- all she can see is that he left ONE DAY for two hours in the afternoon after being grounded for 1 1/2 mos without permission. Period.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="klmno, post: 153102, member: 3699"] Thanks, Witz! This stems from him leaving house without permission for 2 hours and during a period (as in lately) when I knew he was cycling. I called police and reported it to her. Yes, it was wrong. But, the rest of the story- he came home on his own and apologizing. Officer came back to house and lectured difficult child and helped me on phone with kid who all of a sudden found it necessary to be calling my son 5 times a day. I knew something stunk about this. (This was on a Sun. ) So, on the following Thurs., difficult child was put on monitor by PO. Still cycling - like the monitor will cure it. Next morning, difficult child is all emotional- ok, in a depressive cycle- he can't go to school and is all a mess. My behavior management only made him worse, so I took a time out. I went back to him to do problem solving- at which time he started opening up about big problems with other kids at school. He agreed to discuss with school admin if I would go, so I called and we did this. Then, he also told admin people at end of meeting that the kid who can't quit calling is buying drugs and alcohol at school and he tells them who was selling. They check into it and find that this is true- they are busted. So, school is happy because difficult child helped "clean up" school. I'm not happy because difficult child is still cycling and destroying everything and giving me fits- however- I am VERY happy that difficult child did work through the mental process of "even though I don't have any friends, this kid isn't a good friend for me to make, I'm getting in more trouble, no I don't want to get involved in doing drugs, I think I should report them." Now, if they were older and only a small amount of drugs were involved, I can't honestly say I want my son to be a snitch- but this was a large amount and we are talking 13 yo. And, then a few days later I take him to psychiatric hospital- shocking to me, he didn't require a tdo- he let me take him. While there, they give him a urine test for drugs and he hasn't done any!! YIPEE!! But, of course- he definitely is not an angel and it is a constant battle. But for crying out loud, ignoring good decisions or efforts instead of acknowledging them will not help rid the bad behavior. in my humble opinion. So, instead of PO looking at this- even when the school is thrilled- all she can see is that he left ONE DAY for two hours in the afternoon after being grounded for 1 1/2 mos without permission. Period. [/QUOTE]
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