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General Parenting
Crazy Eyes during Tantrum - like she wasn't there
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<blockquote data-quote="LittleDudesMom" data-source="post: 251202" data-attributes="member: 805"><p>Sandy,</p><p> </p><p>when my difficult child was raging, almost daily at school in second grade, I used to say he wasn't in there. I wouldn't describe the look in his eyes as crazy - just black. It was as if my difficult child was not really there. His eyes were dark, angry, but empty. Fortunately, we have pretty much moved past the raging. However, there are times when he still gets extremely angry or frustrated. His eyes are angry, but he's in there.</p><p> </p><p>I remember reading something on a tourettes website years ago from a young teenage boy sho wrote about how it feels in a rage. He described a feeling of being outside your body watching yourself. There was no ability to control. I think that's the way it was with my difficult child when he was raging and today when he's really angry.</p><p> </p><p>There comes a point when stimuli from the outside serves no purpose but to prolong and often make the situation worse. We have found that not speaking to him, allowing him space and time works the best. As long as he is not in a position of hurting anone or anything, we just let him be angry and just let him be. Seems to have a more calming effect.</p><p> </p><p>When he was younger and really raging, the only thing that would bring the light back into his eyes was the appearance of me on the scene. I wouldn't talk, I would just be.</p><p> </p><p>It's a scary thing for a parent to look into their child's eyes and see nothing.</p><p> </p><p>Sharon</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="LittleDudesMom, post: 251202, member: 805"] Sandy, when my difficult child was raging, almost daily at school in second grade, I used to say he wasn't in there. I wouldn't describe the look in his eyes as crazy - just black. It was as if my difficult child was not really there. His eyes were dark, angry, but empty. Fortunately, we have pretty much moved past the raging. However, there are times when he still gets extremely angry or frustrated. His eyes are angry, but he's in there. I remember reading something on a tourettes website years ago from a young teenage boy sho wrote about how it feels in a rage. He described a feeling of being outside your body watching yourself. There was no ability to control. I think that's the way it was with my difficult child when he was raging and today when he's really angry. There comes a point when stimuli from the outside serves no purpose but to prolong and often make the situation worse. We have found that not speaking to him, allowing him space and time works the best. As long as he is not in a position of hurting anone or anything, we just let him be angry and just let him be. Seems to have a more calming effect. When he was younger and really raging, the only thing that would bring the light back into his eyes was the appearance of me on the scene. I wouldn't talk, I would just be. It's a scary thing for a parent to look into their child's eyes and see nothing. Sharon [/QUOTE]
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