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Crazy Eyes during Tantrum - like she wasn't there
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<blockquote data-quote="gcvmom" data-source="post: 251508" data-attributes="member: 3444"><p>Your limited mobility really does make things more difficult. Until you can get her to a qualified specialist to figure out how to treat her, you're going to have to work very hard to manage and limit her exposure to the things that trigger these rages. </p><p> </p><p>If you don't want her having chocolate cake, then you're going to have to hide it before she has a chance to get into it and there is no need to get into a power struggle with her. And if she gets upset when you tell her things like you threw it out (which sounds like you did it to punish her for getting into it without permission), you'll have to think of something else to say so she doesn't explode. </p><p> </p><p>Some kids don't handle transitions well and they don't like surprises. They don't feel in control of the situation and that can feel scary to them. You have to explain things to them as if they were much younger than they are, because emotionally, developmentally, the ARE younger.</p><p> </p><p>You may need to think of alternate ways to get her feeling like she has control over something that is acceptable for her to control. Let's say she wants to watch television and getting her to end that session is hard to do. Talk to her in advance, before her show starts, about what's going to happen after the show is finished so she knows what to expect. "You may watch your show and when it's finished you get to go with me to the store to get milk, and you may pick out which box of cereal you want or you may pick out which apples we are to buy." Half-way through the show, remind her of what's coming up when it's finished. Ten minutes before it ends, remind her again. Five minutes before give another reminder. Maybe help her start getting her shoes on or some other aspect of getting ready while the show wraps up. Then when it ends, turn off the TV while saying "Okay, now it's time for us to go. Did you think about what you want to pick out at the store?" Keep it positive and cheerful. If she starts to resist, tell her that she won't get to choose anything if she doesn't cooperate. Suggest that it would be more fun for her to be able to make her choices at the store than not.</p><p> </p><p>I know this kind of mental prepping has helped me to reduce the opposition I often would get from my difficult child's. And once they are feeling oppositional, it's not too much of a stretch to trigger a rage. in my opinion, it's all about prevention.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="gcvmom, post: 251508, member: 3444"] Your limited mobility really does make things more difficult. Until you can get her to a qualified specialist to figure out how to treat her, you're going to have to work very hard to manage and limit her exposure to the things that trigger these rages. If you don't want her having chocolate cake, then you're going to have to hide it before she has a chance to get into it and there is no need to get into a power struggle with her. And if she gets upset when you tell her things like you threw it out (which sounds like you did it to punish her for getting into it without permission), you'll have to think of something else to say so she doesn't explode. Some kids don't handle transitions well and they don't like surprises. They don't feel in control of the situation and that can feel scary to them. You have to explain things to them as if they were much younger than they are, because emotionally, developmentally, the ARE younger. You may need to think of alternate ways to get her feeling like she has control over something that is acceptable for her to control. Let's say she wants to watch television and getting her to end that session is hard to do. Talk to her in advance, before her show starts, about what's going to happen after the show is finished so she knows what to expect. "You may watch your show and when it's finished you get to go with me to the store to get milk, and you may pick out which box of cereal you want or you may pick out which apples we are to buy." Half-way through the show, remind her of what's coming up when it's finished. Ten minutes before it ends, remind her again. Five minutes before give another reminder. Maybe help her start getting her shoes on or some other aspect of getting ready while the show wraps up. Then when it ends, turn off the TV while saying "Okay, now it's time for us to go. Did you think about what you want to pick out at the store?" Keep it positive and cheerful. If she starts to resist, tell her that she won't get to choose anything if she doesn't cooperate. Suggest that it would be more fun for her to be able to make her choices at the store than not. I know this kind of mental prepping has helped me to reduce the opposition I often would get from my difficult child's. And once they are feeling oppositional, it's not too much of a stretch to trigger a rage. in my opinion, it's all about prevention. [/QUOTE]
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Crazy Eyes during Tantrum - like she wasn't there
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