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General Parenting
Crazy Eyes during Tantrum - like she wasn't there
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 251517" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>I think sending her to her room is fine, even if you have to drag her. Just don't lock the door. You can sit or stand against the door so it won't open, but in case of emergency you could easily get to her. Or design a special space in a large closet or spare room that is her "cool down place" that you CAN sit outside with your body holding the door closed. It should be a totally childproofed space, maybe with a futon mattress on the floor and other stuff to provide whatever sensory input she seeks in a safe manner. If you are right outside the door then you can HEAR if she is raging or calms down, you can hear immediately if she hurts herself and you can get to her immediately with-o messing with locks in case of fire or other emergency. </p><p></p><p>I am thinking walk-in size closet, not just regular size. I actually had a very deep closet as a child and would continuously dump pillows and clothes on the floor of it so I could crawl in there and hide when I was angry or upset. My mom used to get so MAD at me for doing it (mostly because the clothes and stuff just piled on the floor) but eventually she figured out that letting me have that space gave me a place to feel safer. Not that I didn't usually feel safe at home at that age, but I just needed that hidey-hole. </p><p></p><p>I hope this helps. the warning about CPS was about using the lock, NOT sending her to her room. Even if she can pick the lock with a coin or plastic bit, they have fewer objections. I was actually TOLD this about my son - but he was 12 and bigger than I am, so holding a door shut for me was not possible.</p><p></p><p>During a meltdown you may need to restrain her for her own safety. If so, a therapist or psychiatrist needs to teach you this technique. It is NOT something you should "figure out on your own" as you can easily hurt a child with-o the proper training. Others here can give you other places that you can learn this from. I learned from our psychiatrist at a Children's Hospital.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 251517, member: 1233"] I think sending her to her room is fine, even if you have to drag her. Just don't lock the door. You can sit or stand against the door so it won't open, but in case of emergency you could easily get to her. Or design a special space in a large closet or spare room that is her "cool down place" that you CAN sit outside with your body holding the door closed. It should be a totally childproofed space, maybe with a futon mattress on the floor and other stuff to provide whatever sensory input she seeks in a safe manner. If you are right outside the door then you can HEAR if she is raging or calms down, you can hear immediately if she hurts herself and you can get to her immediately with-o messing with locks in case of fire or other emergency. I am thinking walk-in size closet, not just regular size. I actually had a very deep closet as a child and would continuously dump pillows and clothes on the floor of it so I could crawl in there and hide when I was angry or upset. My mom used to get so MAD at me for doing it (mostly because the clothes and stuff just piled on the floor) but eventually she figured out that letting me have that space gave me a place to feel safer. Not that I didn't usually feel safe at home at that age, but I just needed that hidey-hole. I hope this helps. the warning about CPS was about using the lock, NOT sending her to her room. Even if she can pick the lock with a coin or plastic bit, they have fewer objections. I was actually TOLD this about my son - but he was 12 and bigger than I am, so holding a door shut for me was not possible. During a meltdown you may need to restrain her for her own safety. If so, a therapist or psychiatrist needs to teach you this technique. It is NOT something you should "figure out on your own" as you can easily hurt a child with-o the proper training. Others here can give you other places that you can learn this from. I learned from our psychiatrist at a Children's Hospital. [/QUOTE]
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Crazy Eyes during Tantrum - like she wasn't there
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