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Cultured difficult child and the money....how do I respond?
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<blockquote data-quote="Tiapet" data-source="post: 358225" data-attributes="member: 455"><p>Good idea to call the teachers. My difficult child lies constantly and manipulates terribly everyone in her little world. We all have to be on same page and the one thing I have learned is to call her out on EVERY single lie she tells and confront her (even though she still doesn't seem to get it and continues). I will call the teachers, email them. I have even confronted her own friends when she has lied about them saying or giving stuff to her. It's the only way. It's tough. I would do the same with the Mom and Grma too in this case. Yup, they may still see you as the bad one but you say they already do. I'd still say to them "yes, I did take it from her but she was going to take it to school, where it could have gotten lost or stolen and I'm sure you didn't intend for that to happen and wanted her to be able to enjoy spending it". This puts a positive spin on it to "them". They HEAR it in the perspective that you care about THEM and what THEY would have wanted for her. The focus they probably will come off of you taking it away then. Just my thoughts.</p><p></p><p>As far as doing the weekend activity with her, if you want to do something out of kindness and it's a gift from the heart (no matter the occasion), you have to do it in that spirit because you "want" to do it, with no strings attached to behaviors. Gifts aren't meant to be "well I'll give you this but I expect that" from you. She absolutely needs to learn respect, which is so hard to get these kids to give (mine aren't learning it real well to me and SO but will give it to others). You can ask for an apology and you might get it. I don't know if it will be heartfelt or not, especially if it is tied to the weekend idea. An apology should be given when they mean it and know why they are giving it or it's truly meaningless in my opinion. </p><p></p><p>I hope whatever you decide to do it works out for you. Sometimes we just have to ignore the adults misbehaving in the matter as much as possible and concentrate on the things we can control in our own environment.</p><p></p><p></p><p>***update because I saw repost.</p><p></p><p>Sounds like grma might not have all faculties together and maybe that's also why she is able to pull the stuff over on them that she is able too? I mean if my difficult child (who steals too) told my mother what your's did, she would think twice and say no way to leaving it in a mailbox right then and there. Maybe that story isn't even true? Maybe difficult child never said you'd leave it in mailbox? Maybe she didn't even say you'd bring it down at all?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tiapet, post: 358225, member: 455"] Good idea to call the teachers. My difficult child lies constantly and manipulates terribly everyone in her little world. We all have to be on same page and the one thing I have learned is to call her out on EVERY single lie she tells and confront her (even though she still doesn't seem to get it and continues). I will call the teachers, email them. I have even confronted her own friends when she has lied about them saying or giving stuff to her. It's the only way. It's tough. I would do the same with the Mom and Grma too in this case. Yup, they may still see you as the bad one but you say they already do. I'd still say to them "yes, I did take it from her but she was going to take it to school, where it could have gotten lost or stolen and I'm sure you didn't intend for that to happen and wanted her to be able to enjoy spending it". This puts a positive spin on it to "them". They HEAR it in the perspective that you care about THEM and what THEY would have wanted for her. The focus they probably will come off of you taking it away then. Just my thoughts. As far as doing the weekend activity with her, if you want to do something out of kindness and it's a gift from the heart (no matter the occasion), you have to do it in that spirit because you "want" to do it, with no strings attached to behaviors. Gifts aren't meant to be "well I'll give you this but I expect that" from you. She absolutely needs to learn respect, which is so hard to get these kids to give (mine aren't learning it real well to me and SO but will give it to others). You can ask for an apology and you might get it. I don't know if it will be heartfelt or not, especially if it is tied to the weekend idea. An apology should be given when they mean it and know why they are giving it or it's truly meaningless in my opinion. I hope whatever you decide to do it works out for you. Sometimes we just have to ignore the adults misbehaving in the matter as much as possible and concentrate on the things we can control in our own environment. ***update because I saw repost. Sounds like grma might not have all faculties together and maybe that's also why she is able to pull the stuff over on them that she is able too? I mean if my difficult child (who steals too) told my mother what your's did, she would think twice and say no way to leaving it in a mailbox right then and there. Maybe that story isn't even true? Maybe difficult child never said you'd leave it in mailbox? Maybe she didn't even say you'd bring it down at all? [/QUOTE]
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Cultured difficult child and the money....how do I respond?
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