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<blockquote data-quote="ChickPea" data-source="post: 754922" data-attributes="member: 24089"><p>Oh hon, I'm so sorry. I was journaling this morning trying to put my feelings to thought and I think you've helped me, actually. </p><p></p><p>My daughter is in the "New Year's Resolution" phase (been here before). She's been working for a week (after about 4 months of getting money how, I have no clue), has plans to get an apartment, wants to get in shape, on and on. She's not realistic about things, but doesn't want to hear anything "negative" (ignoring the bills gone to collections, the shady people she's shacking up with, the fact that she hasn't even had a job yet for a month). If she can keep all this for a year and remain stable, <em>wonderful</em>. Let's talk then. Isn't that the goal? But, my mind won't let me believe --or act on it-- it until I see it. So I'm waiting for the shoe to drop. For the spiral. But she wants <em>immediate </em>compensation/reward. She's moved on, why can't everyone else?</p><p></p><p>In between all this is the sweet grandchild that has lived with us every day of his life thus far. Happy, stable, doing better than I think my own kids did at this age. With two parents that have a lot of growing to do. </p><p></p><p>You've hit on my fears and frustration. That the courts would basically allow a child to incur trauma for the sake of it. For the benefit of closing a case --even for a bit-- and re-opening it when they need to. It's just insane. I know not every grandparent/aunt/relative is willing to take a child on in hopes of giving them a better chance in cases like this, but when they are, why not utilize them? </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>This is how I feel right now in my case with my daughter. </p><p></p><p>I hope you can find some peace as well. I'm trying. Some days it is minute by minute.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="ChickPea, post: 754922, member: 24089"] Oh hon, I'm so sorry. I was journaling this morning trying to put my feelings to thought and I think you've helped me, actually. My daughter is in the "New Year's Resolution" phase (been here before). She's been working for a week (after about 4 months of getting money how, I have no clue), has plans to get an apartment, wants to get in shape, on and on. She's not realistic about things, but doesn't want to hear anything "negative" (ignoring the bills gone to collections, the shady people she's shacking up with, the fact that she hasn't even had a job yet for a month). If she can keep all this for a year and remain stable, [I]wonderful[/I]. Let's talk then. Isn't that the goal? But, my mind won't let me believe --or act on it-- it until I see it. So I'm waiting for the shoe to drop. For the spiral. But she wants [I]immediate [/I]compensation/reward. She's moved on, why can't everyone else? In between all this is the sweet grandchild that has lived with us every day of his life thus far. Happy, stable, doing better than I think my own kids did at this age. With two parents that have a lot of growing to do. You've hit on my fears and frustration. That the courts would basically allow a child to incur trauma for the sake of it. For the benefit of closing a case --even for a bit-- and re-opening it when they need to. It's just insane. I know not every grandparent/aunt/relative is willing to take a child on in hopes of giving them a better chance in cases like this, but when they are, why not utilize them? This is how I feel right now in my case with my daughter. I hope you can find some peace as well. I'm trying. Some days it is minute by minute. [/QUOTE]
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