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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 754951" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Dear New Leaf.</p><p></p><p>I'm sorry for this latest curve ball. I have not read all the replies but have a suggestion. Any child in custody of the system has an attorney or eligibility for same, as I understand. Before I adopted him my son had one. This attorney represents only the child's welfare. What I am saying here is that somebody besides you needs to advocate for these children that they not be traumatized further by their mother. Child welfare because of bias in the form of protecting the rights of parents, imposes an adversarial lens onto custodial family member, such is happening to you.</p><p></p><p>There can be a real callousness and indifference to the feelings of children by the people entrusted to protect them and their rights. I am remembering when I was visiting my son in the crisis nursery before I took him home. It was the most dire of situations. My son had bonded with me immediately, but I had no rights either to advocate for him or to make decisions that affected him. I can't remember exactly the circumstances, but after bringing him home for a visit, they made me leave him back at the facility. To "test" they said, his attachment. How traumatizing this was to him and to me. My son at 22 months old understood it was an abandonment. While he recovered, it was hard on both of us.</p><p></p><p>I think what this social worker is proposing is similarly traumatizing for your grandkids, seeing them as property of their parents, not souls to protect. I would feel exactly as do you.</p><p></p><p>I say somebody besides you needs to advocate for the kids because you are so easily dismissed by the social worker, as having your own interests at stake. This infuriates me.Of course this is not true. The system victimizes you too, in this way. Thank goodness you're not permitting it. Are there pro bono legal services for you too?</p><p></p><p>I'm sorry New Leaf, that this continues so difficult.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 754951, member: 18958"] Dear New Leaf. I'm sorry for this latest curve ball. I have not read all the replies but have a suggestion. Any child in custody of the system has an attorney or eligibility for same, as I understand. Before I adopted him my son had one. This attorney represents only the child's welfare. What I am saying here is that somebody besides you needs to advocate for these children that they not be traumatized further by their mother. Child welfare because of bias in the form of protecting the rights of parents, imposes an adversarial lens onto custodial family member, such is happening to you. There can be a real callousness and indifference to the feelings of children by the people entrusted to protect them and their rights. I am remembering when I was visiting my son in the crisis nursery before I took him home. It was the most dire of situations. My son had bonded with me immediately, but I had no rights either to advocate for him or to make decisions that affected him. I can't remember exactly the circumstances, but after bringing him home for a visit, they made me leave him back at the facility. To "test" they said, his attachment. How traumatizing this was to him and to me. My son at 22 months old understood it was an abandonment. While he recovered, it was hard on both of us. I think what this social worker is proposing is similarly traumatizing for your grandkids, seeing them as property of their parents, not souls to protect. I would feel exactly as do you. I say somebody besides you needs to advocate for the kids because you are so easily dismissed by the social worker, as having your own interests at stake. This infuriates me.Of course this is not true. The system victimizes you too, in this way. Thank goodness you're not permitting it. Are there pro bono legal services for you too? I'm sorry New Leaf, that this continues so difficult. [/QUOTE]
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