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<blockquote data-quote="Deni D" data-source="post: 754962" data-attributes="member: 22840"><p>New Leaf, even though I don't respond much to your posts my heart is always with you. The road you travel is one of the most difficult I've read on here. My vision of you is of such a strong balanced woman, someone I would like to become. </p><p></p><p>I wonder if you could contact CASA in addition to working with the grands therapists to help with the social worker, and most likely the next, and next social worker. I have no doubt you are strong enough to stand up to a social worker without other support though. </p><p></p><p>On the mainland, from what I've learned mostly from others, is these social workers back down when you put things in their lap. Like telling her you want, in writing, what her "detailed reunification" plan is, and a detailed plan on how she is protecting these children, which is part of her job. These social workers tend to push to make responsible people jump through hoops while allowing the lower functioning adults, who don't care currently about the children, to run the show. That is until you stand up to them. They only have so much power and tend to use it against the only people they can, the responsible, caring people. If you let her know you will hold her feet to the fire about your concerns about her decisions most likely she will cut it out and will start to work with you. </p><p></p><p>I'll never forget the day I packed a bag, including a good book to read. And I packed a bag for my very young son at the time and made arrangements for someone I trusted who he would stay with. I had had enough with his fathers court shenanigans. The father had yet again taken me to court for visitation he said I was denying him. The reality was he was not interested in or exercising his visitation but instead was tying up all of mine and my sons time with switches, changes, and subsequent no shows. I was fully prepared to go to jail. Don't know if they would have allowed my book or not, lol!. But as it turned out, once I stood up to the bs things turned around on a dime including a very stern admonishment from the judge to my son's father. The tail wagging the dog changed in a snap when I no longer allowed it. But luckily to show the extent of the issues at that time I had a 6 month calendar documenting all of the phone calls (no less than 4 a day) for the switches, and the mostly no shows. Prior to that I had tried to explain to the court what he was doing. They actually laughed at me, made fun of me. A father should be able to contact the mother, should be able to make changes based on normal life circumstances they said. They did not listen to me about the reality of the situation, I could not explain it, frankly couldn't even understand it. So to others points, documentation in the face of a severe lack of common sense I think is required, even when addiction and or mental illness is accepted normal people cannot comprehend the extent of it. </p><p></p><p>It must be so difficult for you to separate Tornado's issues from your grands. But just like you know you can't rescue her, neither can your grands rescue her. From what I've read of what you have posted she now trying to use them as her ticket back in. I just can't imagine to your home, just can't imagine. </p><p></p><p>Wish I could change things for you, I pray for you and wish you peace.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Deni D, post: 754962, member: 22840"] New Leaf, even though I don't respond much to your posts my heart is always with you. The road you travel is one of the most difficult I've read on here. My vision of you is of such a strong balanced woman, someone I would like to become. I wonder if you could contact CASA in addition to working with the grands therapists to help with the social worker, and most likely the next, and next social worker. I have no doubt you are strong enough to stand up to a social worker without other support though. On the mainland, from what I've learned mostly from others, is these social workers back down when you put things in their lap. Like telling her you want, in writing, what her "detailed reunification" plan is, and a detailed plan on how she is protecting these children, which is part of her job. These social workers tend to push to make responsible people jump through hoops while allowing the lower functioning adults, who don't care currently about the children, to run the show. That is until you stand up to them. They only have so much power and tend to use it against the only people they can, the responsible, caring people. If you let her know you will hold her feet to the fire about your concerns about her decisions most likely she will cut it out and will start to work with you. I'll never forget the day I packed a bag, including a good book to read. And I packed a bag for my very young son at the time and made arrangements for someone I trusted who he would stay with. I had had enough with his fathers court shenanigans. The father had yet again taken me to court for visitation he said I was denying him. The reality was he was not interested in or exercising his visitation but instead was tying up all of mine and my sons time with switches, changes, and subsequent no shows. I was fully prepared to go to jail. Don't know if they would have allowed my book or not, lol!. But as it turned out, once I stood up to the bs things turned around on a dime including a very stern admonishment from the judge to my son's father. The tail wagging the dog changed in a snap when I no longer allowed it. But luckily to show the extent of the issues at that time I had a 6 month calendar documenting all of the phone calls (no less than 4 a day) for the switches, and the mostly no shows. Prior to that I had tried to explain to the court what he was doing. They actually laughed at me, made fun of me. A father should be able to contact the mother, should be able to make changes based on normal life circumstances they said. They did not listen to me about the reality of the situation, I could not explain it, frankly couldn't even understand it. So to others points, documentation in the face of a severe lack of common sense I think is required, even when addiction and or mental illness is accepted normal people cannot comprehend the extent of it. It must be so difficult for you to separate Tornado's issues from your grands. But just like you know you can't rescue her, neither can your grands rescue her. From what I've read of what you have posted she now trying to use them as her ticket back in. I just can't imagine to your home, just can't imagine. Wish I could change things for you, I pray for you and wish you peace. [/QUOTE]
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