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The system is overwhelmed, understaffed, and often not up to the research on the cumulative effects of trauma on children. My heart breaks for you and your family. Sadly, traumatized children (and adults) are most often retraumatized once in the system despite the best intention of those in authority. 


You are a warrior to keep fighting for your grands and Tornado, too.



This is wise. Your safety emotional and physical safety are paramount.  Try to let go of the guilt; I don't believe it will have an effect now, but that does not mean that someday you will be able to interact.


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