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daughter-12 raging, destructive behavior ... help!
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<blockquote data-quote="nvts" data-source="post: 118240" data-attributes="member: 3814"><p>Ok, Just shooting from the hip here and I'm sort of out of time because I've got difficult child 2 home with a sore throat and the other buggers will be home from school shortly.</p><p></p><p>1. seems like you're "going tentative" with him. What I mean is that you gave him 1/2 hr. past time on the WII. </p><p></p><p>2. you've threatened to box up all of his stuff and give it away</p><p></p><p>3. you'll take the door off the hinges</p><p></p><p>4. you're trying to engage him during a rage</p><p></p><p>Suggestions:</p><p></p><p>1. try to spell things out. "15, then 10, then 5 then 2 minute warning" when it's almost time to turn off the tv, stereo, computer, video game, etc. There's ALWAYS a save point within 15 mins.</p><p></p><p>2. don't make idle threats. YOU have to live up to what you're proclaiming when you let him know consequenses.</p><p></p><p>3. is he calm now? If so, you need to be sure that HE knows that if he EVER resorts to physical violence again, he will officially be considered a danger to himself and others and he will be taken by ambulence to the ER with a possible psychiatric hold put on him. Then do it. It doesn't matter whether company is going to be there in 2 mins. He touches you, he's going to be reported to the authorities. DON'T EVER TOLERATE PHYSICAL VIOLENCE BUT DON'T TELL HIM YOU'LL DO THIS AND NOT FOLLOW THROUGH!!! </p><p></p><p>4. since grandma mid-week visits are no longer convenient you need to sit quietly with him alone and explain why this isn't currently working out (appts, clubs, etc.). Basket B "how can we work this out so that we're both a little bit happy". </p><p></p><p>5. is he in counseling? If so, you need to let the therapist know that this is going on.</p><p></p><p>6. can't remember your signature - is he on medications? If so, talk to his psychiatrist. I don't know much about medications, but some can cause different side effects.</p><p></p><p>7. when he's starting to rage, don't engage him. Walk away, hum in your brain, flat monotone responses.</p><p></p><p>My one aspie (difficult child 1) has a hair trigger and most of the above work with him. I cannot speak with any type of authority, as I feel I'm shooting from the hip 99% of the time, but maybe some of these can help.</p><p></p><p> :dont_know:</p><p></p><p>Let us know how it goes!</p><p></p><p>Beth</p><p></p><p> :smile:</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="nvts, post: 118240, member: 3814"] Ok, Just shooting from the hip here and I'm sort of out of time because I've got difficult child 2 home with a sore throat and the other buggers will be home from school shortly. 1. seems like you're "going tentative" with him. What I mean is that you gave him 1/2 hr. past time on the WII. 2. you've threatened to box up all of his stuff and give it away 3. you'll take the door off the hinges 4. you're trying to engage him during a rage Suggestions: 1. try to spell things out. "15, then 10, then 5 then 2 minute warning" when it's almost time to turn off the tv, stereo, computer, video game, etc. There's ALWAYS a save point within 15 mins. 2. don't make idle threats. YOU have to live up to what you're proclaiming when you let him know consequenses. 3. is he calm now? If so, you need to be sure that HE knows that if he EVER resorts to physical violence again, he will officially be considered a danger to himself and others and he will be taken by ambulence to the ER with a possible psychiatric hold put on him. Then do it. It doesn't matter whether company is going to be there in 2 mins. He touches you, he's going to be reported to the authorities. DON'T EVER TOLERATE PHYSICAL VIOLENCE BUT DON'T TELL HIM YOU'LL DO THIS AND NOT FOLLOW THROUGH!!! 4. since grandma mid-week visits are no longer convenient you need to sit quietly with him alone and explain why this isn't currently working out (appts, clubs, etc.). Basket B "how can we work this out so that we're both a little bit happy". 5. is he in counseling? If so, you need to let the therapist know that this is going on. 6. can't remember your signature - is he on medications? If so, talk to his psychiatrist. I don't know much about medications, but some can cause different side effects. 7. when he's starting to rage, don't engage him. Walk away, hum in your brain, flat monotone responses. My one aspie (difficult child 1) has a hair trigger and most of the above work with him. I cannot speak with any type of authority, as I feel I'm shooting from the hip 99% of the time, but maybe some of these can help. [img]:dont_know:[/img] Let us know how it goes! Beth [img]:smile:[/img] [/QUOTE]
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