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daughter faces court date for non attendance
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<blockquote data-quote="Mattsmom277" data-source="post: 312974" data-attributes="member: 4264"><p>I am in no way wanting to minimize your very real concerns. So bearing that in mind, I wanted to share my son a bit with you. </p><p>My son was exactly like your daughter. I had him through the gauntlet for years. I'd always get torn when no real diagnosis or definitive problem was found. His school refusal, his up all night, sleep all day attitude. His video game obsession. So many of his issues sound exactly like your daughter! My difficult child would other times be well groomed, eager to do things with his friends etc. He has always been smart, with people who he "gets" he is a big talker.</p><p>After years and years of so many problems, I did the homeschool thing. he is now back in regular school. He somehow just flipped a switch regarding school. He is working hard towards goals and getting terrific grades. He still hates high school. But he wants to go to University and that is his motivation. he still spends absurd amounts of hours online playing xbox. He will get obsessed with books and read read read without coming out sometimes all day other than food, drinks, bathroom.</p><p>But he is doing well. He is engaged in his life. He simply is socially different. He likes who he likes. He has stopped feeling/seeming depressed since he got a bit older and learned to be comfortable with who he is. He realizes he's a people person, but he's not a large group person. That he likes quality friends, not quantity. that to really be friends with someone, he prefers those who realllllly share his interests so he can be engaged in conversation that, to him, isn't a waste of time, energy, breath. He no longer feels he is weird, his depression has gone. He simply changed when he stopped feeling like a oddball for not craving the same youthful groups of friends, popularity isn't important to him. Now that he is treated more as an adult (he is growing up!) he tends to find more like minded teens to hang out with. He tends to hang out with older boys because they've gotten past the teen high school drama that drives my difficult child batty. I allow the older friends because he knows to not push his limits to do things they are doing (drinking etc). His friends respect his age and limits (ie. drinking) because they enjoy hanging out with him. </p><p>Having said all that, I have no idea what is going on with your daughter. Wether its just her having to grow into being comfortable with herself or something mental health or chemical or biological etc, I do hope that something will work to help her feel happier and more engaged in her own happiness. I told you about my difficult child because sometimes I think that we can lose hope when we don't find a definitive solution or cause of a problem. But sometimes it does work itself out.</p><p>I am sorry the attending school is getting to this point for her. Education is so important. It's also very difficult to get some of our kids into that classroom. I find our black and white education system does little good (and often harm) to our kids who are not "cookie cutter". I hope you find a solution. </p><p>I am glad to hear that you are close and that she is engaged within the family. She sounds like a great kid. Depression can be so damaging to our kids. I agree that perhaps the medication isn't working. Any medication long term that a person isn't showing improvement with, or isn't helping enough, is probably a good candidate for reevaluation. Sometimes with depression a medication that works for one won't for another. Or can even make the problem worse. Even within the same family of medications (such as antidepressants).</p><p>(((hugs))) There are great people on this board who will likely have much more insightful responses from their own experiences. I just wanted to say hello and share in kind.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Mattsmom277, post: 312974, member: 4264"] I am in no way wanting to minimize your very real concerns. So bearing that in mind, I wanted to share my son a bit with you. My son was exactly like your daughter. I had him through the gauntlet for years. I'd always get torn when no real diagnosis or definitive problem was found. His school refusal, his up all night, sleep all day attitude. His video game obsession. So many of his issues sound exactly like your daughter! My difficult child would other times be well groomed, eager to do things with his friends etc. He has always been smart, with people who he "gets" he is a big talker. After years and years of so many problems, I did the homeschool thing. he is now back in regular school. He somehow just flipped a switch regarding school. He is working hard towards goals and getting terrific grades. He still hates high school. But he wants to go to University and that is his motivation. he still spends absurd amounts of hours online playing xbox. He will get obsessed with books and read read read without coming out sometimes all day other than food, drinks, bathroom. But he is doing well. He is engaged in his life. He simply is socially different. He likes who he likes. He has stopped feeling/seeming depressed since he got a bit older and learned to be comfortable with who he is. He realizes he's a people person, but he's not a large group person. That he likes quality friends, not quantity. that to really be friends with someone, he prefers those who realllllly share his interests so he can be engaged in conversation that, to him, isn't a waste of time, energy, breath. He no longer feels he is weird, his depression has gone. He simply changed when he stopped feeling like a oddball for not craving the same youthful groups of friends, popularity isn't important to him. Now that he is treated more as an adult (he is growing up!) he tends to find more like minded teens to hang out with. He tends to hang out with older boys because they've gotten past the teen high school drama that drives my difficult child batty. I allow the older friends because he knows to not push his limits to do things they are doing (drinking etc). His friends respect his age and limits (ie. drinking) because they enjoy hanging out with him. Having said all that, I have no idea what is going on with your daughter. Wether its just her having to grow into being comfortable with herself or something mental health or chemical or biological etc, I do hope that something will work to help her feel happier and more engaged in her own happiness. I told you about my difficult child because sometimes I think that we can lose hope when we don't find a definitive solution or cause of a problem. But sometimes it does work itself out. I am sorry the attending school is getting to this point for her. Education is so important. It's also very difficult to get some of our kids into that classroom. I find our black and white education system does little good (and often harm) to our kids who are not "cookie cutter". I hope you find a solution. I am glad to hear that you are close and that she is engaged within the family. She sounds like a great kid. Depression can be so damaging to our kids. I agree that perhaps the medication isn't working. Any medication long term that a person isn't showing improvement with, or isn't helping enough, is probably a good candidate for reevaluation. Sometimes with depression a medication that works for one won't for another. Or can even make the problem worse. Even within the same family of medications (such as antidepressants). (((hugs))) There are great people on this board who will likely have much more insightful responses from their own experiences. I just wanted to say hello and share in kind. [/QUOTE]
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