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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 721171" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>you did not go wrong.</p><p></p><p>i speak to a rabbi every week or two when i am lucky. Wednesday i was hyperventillating with grief. she said: enough. (and then she helped me get my breath.)</p><p></p><p>and then she said. things happen in life. that is what life is. things happening. sometimes they're good and sometimes not.</p><p></p><p>what is happening is that we are inserting ourselves in their stories and making them about us. </p><p></p><p>our stories are us. theirs are theirs. oh how i wish i could remember. or do i not remember because it is drivel? or because i am corruped by love?</p><p></p><p>and we did not love them too much. </p><p></p><p>your son has a pea brain right now</p><p> it will get bigger.</p><p></p><p>here is an m quote from earlier today: do you think my mother asked for one child with downs and another crazy? no.</p><p></p><p>but we loved them. </p><p></p><p>life comes at people.</p><p></p><p>i try to walk an hour every day. a few days ago i passed a house where their profoundly disabled daughter was being dropped off by bus in her wheelchair. No motor control. Words unintelligible.</p><p></p><p>the family dog was unleashed. a large male german shepherd. he came up to me aggressively barking. he snapped. i was terrified. I was never before threatened by a dog.</p><p></p><p>the mother came to restrain the dog and had a hard time.</p><p></p><p>are you okay?</p><p></p><p>yeah but i'm frightened. </p><p></p><p>he doesn't bite.</p><p></p><p>he just snapped at me.</p><p></p><p>i don't know why he is doing this lately. it started a few weeks ago when she broke her arm.</p><p></p><p>the mother (not young) looked dead with grief. A kind of wild, hopeless dead.</p><p></p><p>When i went to walk today there was the shepherd laying in Front of his house. Unleashed.</p><p></p><p>I told m when i came home. How could she do that? He owns the Street now.</p><p></p><p>He Said: There is a grief so deep and without end that one sees nothing, knows nothing. Where all there is is to endure.</p><p></p><p>I shut up. Because i know.</p><p></p><p>we are so blessed to have each other. i found myself hoping that that mother had people in her corner like we do.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 721171, member: 18958"] you did not go wrong. i speak to a rabbi every week or two when i am lucky. Wednesday i was hyperventillating with grief. she said: enough. (and then she helped me get my breath.) and then she said. things happen in life. that is what life is. things happening. sometimes they're good and sometimes not. what is happening is that we are inserting ourselves in their stories and making them about us. our stories are us. theirs are theirs. oh how i wish i could remember. or do i not remember because it is drivel? or because i am corruped by love? and we did not love them too much. your son has a pea brain right now it will get bigger. here is an m quote from earlier today: do you think my mother asked for one child with downs and another crazy? no. but we loved them. life comes at people. i try to walk an hour every day. a few days ago i passed a house where their profoundly disabled daughter was being dropped off by bus in her wheelchair. No motor control. Words unintelligible. the family dog was unleashed. a large male german shepherd. he came up to me aggressively barking. he snapped. i was terrified. I was never before threatened by a dog. the mother came to restrain the dog and had a hard time. are you okay? yeah but i'm frightened. he doesn't bite. he just snapped at me. i don't know why he is doing this lately. it started a few weeks ago when she broke her arm. the mother (not young) looked dead with grief. A kind of wild, hopeless dead. When i went to walk today there was the shepherd laying in Front of his house. Unleashed. I told m when i came home. How could she do that? He owns the Street now. He Said: There is a grief so deep and without end that one sees nothing, knows nothing. Where all there is is to endure. I shut up. Because i know. we are so blessed to have each other. i found myself hoping that that mother had people in her corner like we do. [/QUOTE]
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