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DBT, addiction, school?
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<blockquote data-quote="exhausted" data-source="post: 428482" data-attributes="member: 11001"><p>Allen,</p><p>She was sexually abused. She acts out to gain control and yes because she wants acceptance. She does not accept herself. She is always super sensitive about her body. She has weight issues but has been stubborn about managing these. Part of it is thyroid and health concerns, some genetic, some protection. However she is beautiful- exstremely pretty and very bright. She once duct taped her middle to look thinner-left aweful marks-this was the last straw before we placed her in 1st residential placement.</p><p> </p><p>No, no impulse control at all (thus an old diagnosis of ADHD-which is not the case by the way).</p><p>Convent-really??? We are not Catholic and that environment isnt safe from what I've heard. Just another avoidance of the problem as really these residential placements have been. However, when it's your only choice to keep your child alive you do it.</p><p> </p><p>Girls' school would be great, there isn't one in our big city-unbelievable as it is. Where she is now is all female-thus the success, however as soon as she is out, the temptation will hit her in the face.</p><p> </p><p>One boyfriend would be great-she's been in residential care for so long because there was no other way to keep her safe. No chance to really form a relationship, she doesn't have healthy friends on the outside either. And you are so correct, if she had these, she would be better off.</p><p> </p><p> Birth control since 14. STD's only a condom and functioning brain, which has developed some impulse control and self-regulation will stop this. Ideas for helping with this?</p><p> </p><p>DBT does teach self regulation and emotional regulation- she knows these skill academically, but will she apply them when faced with a temptation? No way to know until she's out. Don't have trust for that given her track record.</p><p> </p><p>collaborative problem solving-really want to use it with her-it however requires some efficacy on her part. We've done it and she does not follow through. I've even emailed Ross Greene, no response from him.</p><p>Really wish we could afford to send her to an all girls school out of the state, I do think that would help. An older positive mentor would also be great-not sure where to find one. Maybe NAMI has someone they can recommend who has similar issues and has risen above them? Good idea, think I'll explore the mentor thing.</p><p> </p><p>Nancy- I'm so glad your girl is trying now. Maybe she is mature enough to get through some of this. My difficult child seems to go for older males (or maybe they are the ones that will have interest in her), otherwise I bet she'd have the same nickname from 1st residential. You are right, we can't buy into her wanting to get out and go back to where she was. She will just get what she wants in a sneakier way. OMG, she feels horrible when she does what she does, why can't she remember that when the temptation comes her way and resist? Two minutes of satisfaction, and a life time of guilt and shame?? come on! Sigh.</p><p> </p><p>I just can't go to the hopeless place, it is not productive. I sure am tempted after last nights visit! Thanks for replies.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="exhausted, post: 428482, member: 11001"] Allen, She was sexually abused. She acts out to gain control and yes because she wants acceptance. She does not accept herself. She is always super sensitive about her body. She has weight issues but has been stubborn about managing these. Part of it is thyroid and health concerns, some genetic, some protection. However she is beautiful- exstremely pretty and very bright. She once duct taped her middle to look thinner-left aweful marks-this was the last straw before we placed her in 1st residential placement. No, no impulse control at all (thus an old diagnosis of ADHD-which is not the case by the way). Convent-really??? We are not Catholic and that environment isnt safe from what I've heard. Just another avoidance of the problem as really these residential placements have been. However, when it's your only choice to keep your child alive you do it. Girls' school would be great, there isn't one in our big city-unbelievable as it is. Where she is now is all female-thus the success, however as soon as she is out, the temptation will hit her in the face. One boyfriend would be great-she's been in residential care for so long because there was no other way to keep her safe. No chance to really form a relationship, she doesn't have healthy friends on the outside either. And you are so correct, if she had these, she would be better off. Birth control since 14. STD's only a condom and functioning brain, which has developed some impulse control and self-regulation will stop this. Ideas for helping with this? DBT does teach self regulation and emotional regulation- she knows these skill academically, but will she apply them when faced with a temptation? No way to know until she's out. Don't have trust for that given her track record. collaborative problem solving-really want to use it with her-it however requires some efficacy on her part. We've done it and she does not follow through. I've even emailed Ross Greene, no response from him. Really wish we could afford to send her to an all girls school out of the state, I do think that would help. An older positive mentor would also be great-not sure where to find one. Maybe NAMI has someone they can recommend who has similar issues and has risen above them? Good idea, think I'll explore the mentor thing. Nancy- I'm so glad your girl is trying now. Maybe she is mature enough to get through some of this. My difficult child seems to go for older males (or maybe they are the ones that will have interest in her), otherwise I bet she'd have the same nickname from 1st residential. You are right, we can't buy into her wanting to get out and go back to where she was. She will just get what she wants in a sneakier way. OMG, she feels horrible when she does what she does, why can't she remember that when the temptation comes her way and resist? Two minutes of satisfaction, and a life time of guilt and shame?? come on! Sigh. I just can't go to the hopeless place, it is not productive. I sure am tempted after last nights visit! Thanks for replies. [/QUOTE]
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