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Deal Breakers?
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<blockquote data-quote="hearts and roses" data-source="post: 466333" data-attributes="member: 2211"><p><span style="color: #008080"><span style="font-size: 10px">Have you tried joint counseling? He needs to get to the point of at least acknowledging what he did was wrong and a breach of trust between you and a betrayal to your promise to one another - to forsake ALL others (even if those others are virtual/on line). Until he is at that point, you cannot beging to start over. You cannot pick up where you left off - it doesn't work that way and he is in denial thinking he can. And you are participating in that charade by asking and then showing him how to write you a love letter. </span></span></p><p><span style="color: #008080"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #008080"><span style="font-size: 10px">I completely understand YOUR need for him to demonstrate his romantic love for you, but he can't do it for so many reasons. It could be that he's resentful of you for putting a stop to his good time. IOW, he won't cheat, but you won't control him. It's his way of (often subconsciously) punishing you and/or controlling you). It could be that he's emotionally absent from your marriage and relationship and honestly cannot see himself writing you a love letter or doing any other romantically demonstrative actions. It could be that he's gone underground with his activities and is still mentally wrapped up in that affair. There could be so many reasons why.</span></span></p><p><span style="color: #008080"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #008080"><span style="font-size: 10px">If you cannot get him to go to counseling, then you should go for yourself. I think I recall you saying that the town you live in has little to no services, correct? Maybe a nearby town? Maybe an online counselor - I hear they are popping up as life coaches all over the place. Hugs, and best of luck. These things take a very long time and do not repair themselves all by themself.</span></span></p><p><span style="color: #008080"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #008080"><span style="font-size: 10px">*I just wanted to remind you that infidelities are not usually about love. And his refusal to do any real work does not necessarily demonstrate a lack of love for you, but more likely his own insecurities.</span></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="hearts and roses, post: 466333, member: 2211"] [COLOR=#008080][SIZE=2]Have you tried joint counseling? He needs to get to the point of at least acknowledging what he did was wrong and a breach of trust between you and a betrayal to your promise to one another - to forsake ALL others (even if those others are virtual/on line). Until he is at that point, you cannot beging to start over. You cannot pick up where you left off - it doesn't work that way and he is in denial thinking he can. And you are participating in that charade by asking and then showing him how to write you a love letter. I completely understand YOUR need for him to demonstrate his romantic love for you, but he can't do it for so many reasons. It could be that he's resentful of you for putting a stop to his good time. IOW, he won't cheat, but you won't control him. It's his way of (often subconsciously) punishing you and/or controlling you). It could be that he's emotionally absent from your marriage and relationship and honestly cannot see himself writing you a love letter or doing any other romantically demonstrative actions. It could be that he's gone underground with his activities and is still mentally wrapped up in that affair. There could be so many reasons why. If you cannot get him to go to counseling, then you should go for yourself. I think I recall you saying that the town you live in has little to no services, correct? Maybe a nearby town? Maybe an online counselor - I hear they are popping up as life coaches all over the place. Hugs, and best of luck. These things take a very long time and do not repair themselves all by themself. *I just wanted to remind you that infidelities are not usually about love. And his refusal to do any real work does not necessarily demonstrate a lack of love for you, but more likely his own insecurities.[/SIZE][/COLOR] [/QUOTE]
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