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Deal Breakers?
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<blockquote data-quote="Mamaof5" data-source="post: 466362"><p>He didn't respond to the hugs and kisses comment (it was xxxs and ooos) but didn't tell me about it either. What is trust building if someone is going to hide it right.</p><p></p><p>The affair was not with her, it was with some random woman from the states he met online in Yoville. However, because of this random woman from Yoville I now perceive his exes as threats to our marriage. In the tone of our marriage as it is now he should not have exes on his facebook nor should a married man be getting xxxs and ooos randomly from one.</p><p></p><p>Sorry but he was the one who put us at risk, he's the one who did what he did and made the choice that he did. He now has to earn back not only my trust but respect. I respect him as a person at this point but not as a husband. I love him but his inaction and lack of respect for my feelings on the matter are slowly chipping away at that love and dwindling it. Ever so slowly but time is like water on rocks. It may take a lot of time and a lot of small things I ask for for the health of our relationship and marriage and them not getting done or him not thinking its a big deal but time can build up and fly by if one isn't careful.</p><p></p><p>I already told him that if he doesn't meet these requests, these deal breakers then I can't stay.</p><p></p><p>I really do think he doesn't see this whole thing as much a big deal as I do. Its sad really because I've literally laid out the blueprint in how to regain my trust and to rebuild our marriage but he seems to be brushing it aside and ignoring everything, hoping it will just fade away.</p><p></p><p>We're 9 months out from what one would call D-Day (discovery day).</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Mamaof5, post: 466362"] He didn't respond to the hugs and kisses comment (it was xxxs and ooos) but didn't tell me about it either. What is trust building if someone is going to hide it right. The affair was not with her, it was with some random woman from the states he met online in Yoville. However, because of this random woman from Yoville I now perceive his exes as threats to our marriage. In the tone of our marriage as it is now he should not have exes on his facebook nor should a married man be getting xxxs and ooos randomly from one. Sorry but he was the one who put us at risk, he's the one who did what he did and made the choice that he did. He now has to earn back not only my trust but respect. I respect him as a person at this point but not as a husband. I love him but his inaction and lack of respect for my feelings on the matter are slowly chipping away at that love and dwindling it. Ever so slowly but time is like water on rocks. It may take a lot of time and a lot of small things I ask for for the health of our relationship and marriage and them not getting done or him not thinking its a big deal but time can build up and fly by if one isn't careful. I already told him that if he doesn't meet these requests, these deal breakers then I can't stay. I really do think he doesn't see this whole thing as much a big deal as I do. Its sad really because I've literally laid out the blueprint in how to regain my trust and to rebuild our marriage but he seems to be brushing it aside and ignoring everything, hoping it will just fade away. We're 9 months out from what one would call D-Day (discovery day). [/QUOTE]
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