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Parent Emeritus
Dealing With Difficult Children During Covid-19
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 757113" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>It makes me sad to look back at my posts on this thread because shortly after I commented that my son had been at the sober living for over 3 months--he left. He left to return to the big metro where he has gone repeatedly for the past 9 years and where he goes homeless. This time he could not resist it. His old friend offered to let him stay with him. There's marijuana. And other guys to hang with, without the baggage (yet) of the men at the sober living. There's freedom. At least for a time. Until my son gets thrown out, and has nowhere to go. So. He will find a shed to sleep in. Or somebody's truck. Or an abandoned car. Or he will sleep on the subway. Or on a carton at starbucks.</p><p></p><p>And he will have stopped his antivirals. And either he will want to come back to the place I own, or I will not be able to bear it once again, and the dance will start all over again.</p><p></p><p>All of this compounded by Coronavirus.</p><p></p><p>I tried so hard to help my son see the reality of his situation and how he's not in the place to take these kinds of risks. He can't because he doesn't have the judgement or motivation or functioning to make it in such a competitive place. He doesn't have the money. And he can't land on his feet. He doesn't have the resilience.</p><p></p><p>I wrote him a text today, (ignored) saying: <em>Maybe 1000 people in that metro are fluent in 3 high demand languages like you, are as intelligent, and have the social skills (when you want to.) If you've decided to live there, you will need to get a job to support yourself. You can do it. </em></p><p><em></em></p><p>The thing is he doesn't want to. Either he lacks fundamentally the capacity to function or he doesn't want to. I know this. It's just hard to watch the freight train coming and be tied to the tracks. It's like involuntarily I need to beep the horn and keep beeping, just to do something. Because I feel so helpless.</p><p></p><p>All of this during Covid 19. Sorry to highjack your thread, ChickPea.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 757113, member: 18958"] It makes me sad to look back at my posts on this thread because shortly after I commented that my son had been at the sober living for over 3 months--he left. He left to return to the big metro where he has gone repeatedly for the past 9 years and where he goes homeless. This time he could not resist it. His old friend offered to let him stay with him. There's marijuana. And other guys to hang with, without the baggage (yet) of the men at the sober living. There's freedom. At least for a time. Until my son gets thrown out, and has nowhere to go. So. He will find a shed to sleep in. Or somebody's truck. Or an abandoned car. Or he will sleep on the subway. Or on a carton at starbucks. And he will have stopped his antivirals. And either he will want to come back to the place I own, or I will not be able to bear it once again, and the dance will start all over again. All of this compounded by Coronavirus. I tried so hard to help my son see the reality of his situation and how he's not in the place to take these kinds of risks. He can't because he doesn't have the judgement or motivation or functioning to make it in such a competitive place. He doesn't have the money. And he can't land on his feet. He doesn't have the resilience. I wrote him a text today, (ignored) saying: [I]Maybe 1000 people in that metro are fluent in 3 high demand languages like you, are as intelligent, and have the social skills (when you want to.) If you've decided to live there, you will need to get a job to support yourself. You can do it. [/I] The thing is he doesn't want to. Either he lacks fundamentally the capacity to function or he doesn't want to. I know this. It's just hard to watch the freight train coming and be tied to the tracks. It's like involuntarily I need to beep the horn and keep beeping, just to do something. Because I feel so helpless. All of this during Covid 19. Sorry to highjack your thread, ChickPea. [/QUOTE]
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