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Dear Birth Mom...
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<blockquote data-quote="Jungleland" data-source="post: 280825" data-attributes="member: 4598"><p><span style="color: blue"><strong>Hi, My name is "difficult child" and you are my birth mom. I miss you. I love you. I cry when I miss you.</strong></span></p><p> </p><p><strong><span style="color: #0000ff">I love you, your daughter "difficult child"</span></strong></p><p> </p><p> </p><p><span style="color: #000000">This, written on a piece of binder paper and difficult child's picture tapped on it. difficult child wrote this yesterday, after a major meltdown due to me saying that we would not be able to take her to the Water Park for her b'day tomorrow. </span></p><p> </p><p><span style="color: #000000">Now she is demanding I mail it to bio mom. For those who don't know her history, we had an open adoption (phone calls and pictures only) until difficult child was 5 and then bio mom flipped out on us and demanded us to "return" difficult child to her. We cut off all correspondences to bio mom and told difficult child she could contact her once she turns 18.</span></p><p> </p><p><span style="color: #000000">difficult child has been talking about bio mom all the time lately and has been glued to her baby album that has pics of bio mom and bio sibs.</span></p><p> </p><p><span style="color: #000000">I need some advice here. Seems difficult child has fixated, once again, on "life would be sooo much better with bio mom". I know that this is normal with adopted kiddos but what I need advice on is, should I allow her to mail this letter to the last address I have for bio mom? Last contacts with bio mom were not appropriate and a bit scary. </span></p><p> </p><p><span style="color: #000000">I have to be honest, I feel, alot of the time lately, that maybe difficult child needs contact with bio family. We obviously are not filling whatever need she feels she is missing. It has been sooo hard lately, we can't seem to be able to get her stable or happy for any length of time. I feel like we are at the end of what we can offer her. husband is still trucking along, living in his own little "things will get better, just hang in there" world and I see things deteriorating rapidly. </span></p><p> </p><p><span style="color: #000000">It is not fair to our 5 yo to spend so much of her young life having to listen to her sister meltdown and scream and swear at us, throw things, etc. This IS affecting her, she is having nightmares.</span></p><p> </p><p><span style="color: #000000">Well, this post is turning into a vent, I am sorry. Just feeling really not heard, again, by husband. I am doing so much praying, begging for G*d to help us all cope and to help difficult child hold it together for that day, that minute, etc. </span></p><p> </p><p><span style="color: #000000">Anyways, I guess I am grasping at straws here, wondering if difficult child contacted bio mom if that might help her come to grips with the loss she feels and maybe help her cope with life.</span></p><p> </p><p><span style="color: #000000">Thanks for listening, Vickie</span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Jungleland, post: 280825, member: 4598"] [COLOR=blue][B]Hi, My name is "difficult child" and you are my birth mom. I miss you. I love you. I cry when I miss you.[/B][/COLOR] [B][COLOR=#0000ff][/COLOR][/B] [B][COLOR=#0000ff]I love you, your daughter "difficult child"[/COLOR][/B] [B][COLOR=#0000ff][/COLOR][/B] [COLOR=black][/COLOR] [COLOR=#000000]This, written on a piece of binder paper and difficult child's picture tapped on it. difficult child wrote this yesterday, after a major meltdown due to me saying that we would not be able to take her to the Water Park for her b'day tomorrow. [/COLOR] [COLOR=#000000][/COLOR] [COLOR=#000000]Now she is demanding I mail it to bio mom. For those who don't know her history, we had an open adoption (phone calls and pictures only) until difficult child was 5 and then bio mom flipped out on us and demanded us to "return" difficult child to her. We cut off all correspondences to bio mom and told difficult child she could contact her once she turns 18.[/COLOR] [COLOR=#000000][/COLOR] [COLOR=#000000]difficult child has been talking about bio mom all the time lately and has been glued to her baby album that has pics of bio mom and bio sibs.[/COLOR] [COLOR=#000000][/COLOR] [COLOR=#000000]I need some advice here. Seems difficult child has fixated, once again, on "life would be sooo much better with bio mom". I know that this is normal with adopted kiddos but what I need advice on is, should I allow her to mail this letter to the last address I have for bio mom? Last contacts with bio mom were not appropriate and a bit scary. [/COLOR] [COLOR=#000000][/COLOR] [COLOR=#000000]I have to be honest, I feel, alot of the time lately, that maybe difficult child needs contact with bio family. We obviously are not filling whatever need she feels she is missing. It has been sooo hard lately, we can't seem to be able to get her stable or happy for any length of time. I feel like we are at the end of what we can offer her. husband is still trucking along, living in his own little "things will get better, just hang in there" world and I see things deteriorating rapidly. [/COLOR] [COLOR=#000000][/COLOR] [COLOR=#000000]It is not fair to our 5 yo to spend so much of her young life having to listen to her sister meltdown and scream and swear at us, throw things, etc. This IS affecting her, she is having nightmares.[/COLOR] [COLOR=#000000][/COLOR] [COLOR=#000000]Well, this post is turning into a vent, I am sorry. Just feeling really not heard, again, by husband. I am doing so much praying, begging for G*d to help us all cope and to help difficult child hold it together for that day, that minute, etc. [/COLOR] [COLOR=#000000][/COLOR] [COLOR=#000000]Anyways, I guess I am grasping at straws here, wondering if difficult child contacted bio mom if that might help her come to grips with the loss she feels and maybe help her cope with life.[/COLOR] [COLOR=#000000][/COLOR] [COLOR=#000000]Thanks for listening, Vickie[/COLOR] [/QUOTE]
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