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Dear Birth Mom...
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 280848" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>We found a fantastic psychologist who is very skilled in dealing with adopted children and especially with reunion and contact issues. He has been a Godsend to us. I can't tell you how much he helped us make good decisions for and with our daughter. Daughter is now doing great with all adoption issues.</p><p></p><p>There must be some psychologist in your area with extensive experience with adopted children, and this issue is always on the minds of adopted kids. When it comes up, it's great to have an unemotional but very well informed person to help you decide how to deal with it. One place to go is to various adoption agencies that have post-adoption help, which includes therapy. This is not a new issue or anything unusual for a person who deals day after day with adopted kids. </p><p></p><p>Sometimes what THEY want and what WE want aren't appropriate (for the emotional age of the child). This psychologist thought of things we never did and we know we can always make an appointment. for this issue in the future. We are dealing with an aunt and a grandma (bio.) who want to know "their" granddaughter and niece. The thing is, they may just be a gateway for bio. father who is in prison (not jail, PRISON) to have contact with her. He gets out in 2010. Comforting, no? </p><p></p><p>We didn't want to be mean and deny law abiding grandma and auntie from seeing a lukewarm N...the psycholgist was the one who helped us make a decision to tell them that, yes, they can meet her on neutral ground with us there AS LONG AS birthfather is not talked about and as long as the relationship is limited to just those two. And that's only if N. wants to meet them. I'm sure they aren't happy with our response, but too bad.</p><p></p><p>Look for an adoption agency--doesn't even have to be the one you used. Get help from somebody who understands adopted kids. Not all therapists do.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 280848, member: 1550"] We found a fantastic psychologist who is very skilled in dealing with adopted children and especially with reunion and contact issues. He has been a Godsend to us. I can't tell you how much he helped us make good decisions for and with our daughter. Daughter is now doing great with all adoption issues. There must be some psychologist in your area with extensive experience with adopted children, and this issue is always on the minds of adopted kids. When it comes up, it's great to have an unemotional but very well informed person to help you decide how to deal with it. One place to go is to various adoption agencies that have post-adoption help, which includes therapy. This is not a new issue or anything unusual for a person who deals day after day with adopted kids. Sometimes what THEY want and what WE want aren't appropriate (for the emotional age of the child). This psychologist thought of things we never did and we know we can always make an appointment. for this issue in the future. We are dealing with an aunt and a grandma (bio.) who want to know "their" granddaughter and niece. The thing is, they may just be a gateway for bio. father who is in prison (not jail, PRISON) to have contact with her. He gets out in 2010. Comforting, no? We didn't want to be mean and deny law abiding grandma and auntie from seeing a lukewarm N...the psycholgist was the one who helped us make a decision to tell them that, yes, they can meet her on neutral ground with us there AS LONG AS birthfather is not talked about and as long as the relationship is limited to just those two. And that's only if N. wants to meet them. I'm sure they aren't happy with our response, but too bad. Look for an adoption agency--doesn't even have to be the one you used. Get help from somebody who understands adopted kids. Not all therapists do. [/QUOTE]
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