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The Watercooler
Death in my family + a vent
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<blockquote data-quote="DammitJanet" data-source="post: 458537" data-attributes="member: 1514"><p>I kinda know how you feel about losing the parent you had the, lets say awkward, relationship with. I was convinced that I had come to terms with the fact that she was dying (alzheimers) and that she didnt know me at all and that I was already past the point that we could ever have any sort of relationship again so I assumed that I was going to be okay when she died, in fact I thought that I would be relieved. In ways I was relieved because it meant her body wasnt suffering anymore and I didnt have to suffer anymore knowing she was still here suffering. But lord I didnt know I was going to break down and really feel a loss like I did. That sudden pain of "oh no...now I can never ever have that chance to maybe get one moment of her saying I was loved." yeah...I get that. </p><p></p><p>I also noticed that people acted a bit different when I said things about well I was down because my dad died...or I had to reschedule because I was gone because my dad died or something because my dad died. They always ask...oh...how old was he? Then when I say he was 84 its like the next thing they say is, oh well, he had a long life. Yeah, okay, so that makes it okay????? LOL. Doesnt mean I am happy my dad is gone!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DammitJanet, post: 458537, member: 1514"] I kinda know how you feel about losing the parent you had the, lets say awkward, relationship with. I was convinced that I had come to terms with the fact that she was dying (alzheimers) and that she didnt know me at all and that I was already past the point that we could ever have any sort of relationship again so I assumed that I was going to be okay when she died, in fact I thought that I would be relieved. In ways I was relieved because it meant her body wasnt suffering anymore and I didnt have to suffer anymore knowing she was still here suffering. But lord I didnt know I was going to break down and really feel a loss like I did. That sudden pain of "oh no...now I can never ever have that chance to maybe get one moment of her saying I was loved." yeah...I get that. I also noticed that people acted a bit different when I said things about well I was down because my dad died...or I had to reschedule because I was gone because my dad died or something because my dad died. They always ask...oh...how old was he? Then when I say he was 84 its like the next thing they say is, oh well, he had a long life. Yeah, okay, so that makes it okay????? LOL. Doesnt mean I am happy my dad is gone! [/QUOTE]
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Death in my family + a vent
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