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Death in my family + a vent
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<blockquote data-quote="Nomad" data-source="post: 458749"><p>These responses really mean a lot to me. Similar to having a difficult child daughter, having a difficult child father has also been somewhat of a "secret." Obviously my husband knows, my children more or less know, and my closest friends know. But, it is not common knowledge. So, I limit who I talk to about this. </p><p>When my mother died young it was very painful. She was the healthy/kind parent. The grief was strong and clear cut.</p><p>This grief kind of took me by surprise. I had always known in my heart that he would show no remorse, but I guess in a childlike way (and I'm noooo kid) I had hoped against hope that he would show some humanity at the very end. At best, one day in the hospital he started to cry and said he loved me and then a few seconds later he was mean as heck to me. At the very very very end, he was very quiet around me. He was only giving two or three word answers to people, but to me, one word replies like "hot," "yes" "cold." It seem indicative of something...not sure of what.</p><p>Ironically, I have a friend with a bipolar sister. We share things. Her sister and my daughter are very similar. Her sister died suddenly the other day. I somehow knew instantly the state of mind she might be in and she thanked me for helping her express this .... it is a painful conflict....a confusing type of grief...which you all "get," and I thank you for your compassion and empathy. It is helpful.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nomad, post: 458749"] These responses really mean a lot to me. Similar to having a difficult child daughter, having a difficult child father has also been somewhat of a "secret." Obviously my husband knows, my children more or less know, and my closest friends know. But, it is not common knowledge. So, I limit who I talk to about this. When my mother died young it was very painful. She was the healthy/kind parent. The grief was strong and clear cut. This grief kind of took me by surprise. I had always known in my heart that he would show no remorse, but I guess in a childlike way (and I'm noooo kid) I had hoped against hope that he would show some humanity at the very end. At best, one day in the hospital he started to cry and said he loved me and then a few seconds later he was mean as heck to me. At the very very very end, he was very quiet around me. He was only giving two or three word answers to people, but to me, one word replies like "hot," "yes" "cold." It seem indicative of something...not sure of what. Ironically, I have a friend with a bipolar sister. We share things. Her sister and my daughter are very similar. Her sister died suddenly the other day. I somehow knew instantly the state of mind she might be in and she thanked me for helping her express this .... it is a painful conflict....a confusing type of grief...which you all "get," and I thank you for your compassion and empathy. It is helpful. [/QUOTE]
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Death in my family + a vent
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