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Decision made about difficult child
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<blockquote data-quote="buddy" data-source="post: 539823" data-attributes="member: 12886"><p>That sways me a little, I can't really put myself in your shoes, but if I try, I'd probably feel the same. I would not want give him money to play with after disrespecting you so much. But I understand what others are saying, that this is a huge step and in the end how it affects you is important. Kind of like how we are told to forgive others for our own well being, not to let them off the hook. I have to look up your other post, I am so sorry I have forgotten the history, but I can't remember if he has any diagnosis or reason for not being able to do better. One idea could be to put money in trust for his retirement...at 68 or something. Not trying to convince you to do otherwise for his sake, just thinking of how I want to leave this world. With no issues hanging over me. I'd not want to leave with revenge in my heart. But the pain my son causes, is due to severe disabilities, so I have a different perspective. But for you, this may be what brings peace. I am certainly not judging because I have not had your son abuse me like he has abused you. Sounds like he has already received his inheritance in advance anyway. I do think it is lovely you are planning to help family members who need it. And if by some miracle your difficult child grows up and regrets his actions, well a will can be changed until it is needed. </p><p></p><p>It sure does sound like difficult child's girl friend is similar..peas in a pod. Too bad.</p><p></p><p>I'm sorry for your hurting heart. I am glad you can come here to talk about it, many here have walked in your shoes and will understand that level of hurt. HUGS to you warrior mom. I wish you peace and much brighter days. Now use that money to do something wonderful for yourself and to have some great times with husband!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="buddy, post: 539823, member: 12886"] That sways me a little, I can't really put myself in your shoes, but if I try, I'd probably feel the same. I would not want give him money to play with after disrespecting you so much. But I understand what others are saying, that this is a huge step and in the end how it affects you is important. Kind of like how we are told to forgive others for our own well being, not to let them off the hook. I have to look up your other post, I am so sorry I have forgotten the history, but I can't remember if he has any diagnosis or reason for not being able to do better. One idea could be to put money in trust for his retirement...at 68 or something. Not trying to convince you to do otherwise for his sake, just thinking of how I want to leave this world. With no issues hanging over me. I'd not want to leave with revenge in my heart. But the pain my son causes, is due to severe disabilities, so I have a different perspective. But for you, this may be what brings peace. I am certainly not judging because I have not had your son abuse me like he has abused you. Sounds like he has already received his inheritance in advance anyway. I do think it is lovely you are planning to help family members who need it. And if by some miracle your difficult child grows up and regrets his actions, well a will can be changed until it is needed. It sure does sound like difficult child's girl friend is similar..peas in a pod. Too bad. I'm sorry for your hurting heart. I am glad you can come here to talk about it, many here have walked in your shoes and will understand that level of hurt. HUGS to you warrior mom. I wish you peace and much brighter days. Now use that money to do something wonderful for yourself and to have some great times with husband! [/QUOTE]
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