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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 562904" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>First of all, ((((((((((hugs))))))))))</p><p></p><p>It is so clear how much you love him and want him to be safe and healthy and NOT for your own sake but for his. I am sorry it is so painful to have your child so sick with addiction. </p><p></p><p>I think that you need to file the charges. The longer he has some type of supervision the better his chances of hitting bottom and feeling that he needs to make some changes and participate in a recovery plan. I would try to do this in whatever area is farthest from you. I would also ask for the order of protection if you feel he might become violent toward you.</p><p></p><p>PLEASE don't let him have a vehicle. A bus pass or bike would be a vastly better option. He can seriously hurt himself or others, and the number of fatalties that he could cause by driving under the influence could range from just himself to many, many other people. Sadly it probably would be others before it would be him because intoxicated people are often unable to tense up in response to the accident and they are less likely to be hurt than bystanders or passengers. The LAST thing you want is for him to end up with life in jail because he killed someone in a drunk/high driving accident. I think that as a parent you would be devastated by this, esp if he was driving a vehicle that you own. I have known parents of children (teen and adult) who killed others by driving drunk and the pain, agony and guilt they felt was truly devastating. It went above and beyond any legal responsiblity on their part for letting a person known to abuse substances operate a vehicle that they owned. I have seen marriages break up over this and I know two families where one parent committed suicide because they felt so much guilt over allowing their addicted adult child to use a car and to use that car with their grandchild or grandchildren in it. At the time they gave the adult child the car they were trying to help, but they did not realize the dangers. In both cases it was a situation where they knew on some level that it was dangerous, but they didn't actually think things through to believe that the adult child would put the grandkids in that sort of danger. we always want to think the best of our kids, and we don't want to think they would take chances with their kids. Sadly, sub abuse totally removes all logical thinking on this issue. </p><p></p><p>I don't want you to have to live through this. I know it is super hard.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 562904, member: 1233"] First of all, ((((((((((hugs)))))))))) It is so clear how much you love him and want him to be safe and healthy and NOT for your own sake but for his. I am sorry it is so painful to have your child so sick with addiction. I think that you need to file the charges. The longer he has some type of supervision the better his chances of hitting bottom and feeling that he needs to make some changes and participate in a recovery plan. I would try to do this in whatever area is farthest from you. I would also ask for the order of protection if you feel he might become violent toward you. PLEASE don't let him have a vehicle. A bus pass or bike would be a vastly better option. He can seriously hurt himself or others, and the number of fatalties that he could cause by driving under the influence could range from just himself to many, many other people. Sadly it probably would be others before it would be him because intoxicated people are often unable to tense up in response to the accident and they are less likely to be hurt than bystanders or passengers. The LAST thing you want is for him to end up with life in jail because he killed someone in a drunk/high driving accident. I think that as a parent you would be devastated by this, esp if he was driving a vehicle that you own. I have known parents of children (teen and adult) who killed others by driving drunk and the pain, agony and guilt they felt was truly devastating. It went above and beyond any legal responsiblity on their part for letting a person known to abuse substances operate a vehicle that they owned. I have seen marriages break up over this and I know two families where one parent committed suicide because they felt so much guilt over allowing their addicted adult child to use a car and to use that car with their grandchild or grandchildren in it. At the time they gave the adult child the car they were trying to help, but they did not realize the dangers. In both cases it was a situation where they knew on some level that it was dangerous, but they didn't actually think things through to believe that the adult child would put the grandkids in that sort of danger. we always want to think the best of our kids, and we don't want to think they would take chances with their kids. Sadly, sub abuse totally removes all logical thinking on this issue. I don't want you to have to live through this. I know it is super hard. [/QUOTE]
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