Col, I'm sorry. And you know how I feel. No need to repeat it
Only he can get himself help. You can't insist he do it. I forgot the drugs he uses but drug use makes one depressed. Weed too. Alcohol. He is certainly not too depressed to get out of bed to buy weed. How does he afford it?
Going for "help" only works if they want it more than you want it for them. Yes, more. Perhaps you can threaten him into going, say, to a counselor and he goes to get you off his back. That's not good enough to spark any improvement if only you and not himself is motivated to change.
I'm sorry for your hurt and pain. Nothing will change, better or worse, until one of you decides to change the current dynamics. How, when, what, if...all that is up to you as you can't control your son. Here's hoping you can find something that brings you peace.
Warm thoughts to your family.
