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Defiant and out-of-control 7-yo: Gifted child??
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 535884" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Well...adoption alone causes certain unavoidable problems, such as feeling rejected by birthparents and wondering if he fits into his family and surroundings. When I see "orphanage" red flags go off in my head because usually the chldren are not nurtured or cared for, which can cause varying degrees of attachment issues which, in turn, cause behavioral problems. If he was also abused in every way, I'd be carefully looking into reactive attachment disorder. The abuse he suffered was severe and what happened to him will n Occupational Therapist (OT) just go away because you love him (yes, we are adoptive parents and we thought love was enough too). The older you adopt a child,t he harder it is for the child to attach to you, especially if he was maltreated.</p><p></p><p>Ok, if anybody has a child here who was adopted at 4 from an orphanage and abused and does not have issues, please tell me so I can correct myself. But I've never heard of any child with that background coming into a new family and not having serious issues. We adopted one child at six from a Hong Kong orphanage and as far as we know, he was NOT abused, but he was still detached and distant and he left our family when he grew up. Adopting an older child with a difficult start is not for the faint of heart.</p><p></p><p>I doubt this has much to do with school and more to do with all of his issues before you brought him home. Is he receiving therapy? </p><p></p><p>Now he may have other issues on top of attachment issues. But it is almost impossible to adopt a child from an orphanage who has gone through everything that your son has and not have attachment issues too, and that is what I would address first. This is not a snap diagnosis. This is just almost the rule. </p><p></p><p>It does not help when your child is the only child of a certain minority at school. We tried to avoid that with our kids. But, again, that is probably just another problem that this precious young man has to face. Do you know anything at all about his genetic background?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 535884, member: 1550"] Well...adoption alone causes certain unavoidable problems, such as feeling rejected by birthparents and wondering if he fits into his family and surroundings. When I see "orphanage" red flags go off in my head because usually the chldren are not nurtured or cared for, which can cause varying degrees of attachment issues which, in turn, cause behavioral problems. If he was also abused in every way, I'd be carefully looking into reactive attachment disorder. The abuse he suffered was severe and what happened to him will n Occupational Therapist (OT) just go away because you love him (yes, we are adoptive parents and we thought love was enough too). The older you adopt a child,t he harder it is for the child to attach to you, especially if he was maltreated. Ok, if anybody has a child here who was adopted at 4 from an orphanage and abused and does not have issues, please tell me so I can correct myself. But I've never heard of any child with that background coming into a new family and not having serious issues. We adopted one child at six from a Hong Kong orphanage and as far as we know, he was NOT abused, but he was still detached and distant and he left our family when he grew up. Adopting an older child with a difficult start is not for the faint of heart. I doubt this has much to do with school and more to do with all of his issues before you brought him home. Is he receiving therapy? Now he may have other issues on top of attachment issues. But it is almost impossible to adopt a child from an orphanage who has gone through everything that your son has and not have attachment issues too, and that is what I would address first. This is not a snap diagnosis. This is just almost the rule. It does not help when your child is the only child of a certain minority at school. We tried to avoid that with our kids. But, again, that is probably just another problem that this precious young man has to face. Do you know anything at all about his genetic background? [/QUOTE]
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Defiant and out-of-control 7-yo: Gifted child??
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