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Denial.......? Fear?
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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 125593" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>Two people are in love. They care about each others well being. </p><p></p><p>One person gets sick, and the other immediately steps up to the plate. </p><p></p><p>Time goes on and the sick person levels out, the partner continues with added responsibilities that used to belong to the well person. It's new, it's scary and it's uncomfortable, but that person does the best they can. </p><p></p><p>Time continues and the sick person is still only leveled out- and the partner is now overburdened with so many things - the thought of loosing the person they love, the thought that this could be forever all the sickness, added responsibility, chores, loss of quality time due to illness...and the partner gets angry - angry at God, angry at the moon, angry at the partner even though it's not his/her fault they are sick. </p><p></p><p>Eventually grief takes over - there are stages to this grief just like there are stages to grief over any loss beit life, love, possessions, time, health - </p><p></p><p>The fact that he sees you as healthy when you don't feel it and no one else sees it makes me believe he's in the mind set of trying to convince you that if HE (your love, your mate) can see improvement - YOU CAN TOO. </p><p></p><p>He's just tired Linda - this has been an awful ride for you both. And I did the same thing with DF and his back - I would say "HEY you look better today, nope you're not walking like you hurt, WOW you sure are moving better." and a part of me KNEW (Oh all of me knew) that he wasn't REALLY any better - I just thought if I put the idea in his head he would be. It was part of the grief of loosing the healthy person I loved and now trying to figure out how to live with this sickly, disabled one. </p><p></p><p>He doesn't mean any harm - He's not trying to make you out to be crazy- He's in a last ditch effort to do everything he can do, say, be - before he admits to himself that you really ARE disabled now - and this is how it's going to be. </p><p></p><p>He's a step away from acceptance of your condition and the new way of life he didn't ask for. ~ It's okay - he's just angry, tired and bargaining. </p><p></p><p>Not easy on either one of you - but I admire him for going down with a bunch of fight. He couldn't possibly love your more at anytime than he does right now. It just doesn't seem like love to you - but he's fighting for your life. Or rather fighting for the life you both used to have. </p><p></p><p>Hugs</p><p>Star</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 125593, member: 4964"] Two people are in love. They care about each others well being. One person gets sick, and the other immediately steps up to the plate. Time goes on and the sick person levels out, the partner continues with added responsibilities that used to belong to the well person. It's new, it's scary and it's uncomfortable, but that person does the best they can. Time continues and the sick person is still only leveled out- and the partner is now overburdened with so many things - the thought of loosing the person they love, the thought that this could be forever all the sickness, added responsibility, chores, loss of quality time due to illness...and the partner gets angry - angry at God, angry at the moon, angry at the partner even though it's not his/her fault they are sick. Eventually grief takes over - there are stages to this grief just like there are stages to grief over any loss beit life, love, possessions, time, health - The fact that he sees you as healthy when you don't feel it and no one else sees it makes me believe he's in the mind set of trying to convince you that if HE (your love, your mate) can see improvement - YOU CAN TOO. He's just tired Linda - this has been an awful ride for you both. And I did the same thing with DF and his back - I would say "HEY you look better today, nope you're not walking like you hurt, WOW you sure are moving better." and a part of me KNEW (Oh all of me knew) that he wasn't REALLY any better - I just thought if I put the idea in his head he would be. It was part of the grief of loosing the healthy person I loved and now trying to figure out how to live with this sickly, disabled one. He doesn't mean any harm - He's not trying to make you out to be crazy- He's in a last ditch effort to do everything he can do, say, be - before he admits to himself that you really ARE disabled now - and this is how it's going to be. He's a step away from acceptance of your condition and the new way of life he didn't ask for. ~ It's okay - he's just angry, tired and bargaining. Not easy on either one of you - but I admire him for going down with a bunch of fight. He couldn't possibly love your more at anytime than he does right now. It just doesn't seem like love to you - but he's fighting for your life. Or rather fighting for the life you both used to have. Hugs Star [/QUOTE]
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