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Denial.......? Fear?
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<blockquote data-quote="Marcie Mac" data-source="post: 125613" data-attributes="member: 47"><p>Linda, I can tell you personally caring for a loved one who is really ill for a long period of time is a really difficult job. SO many mixed emotions come into play over and above just being a caregiver. </p><p> </p><p>There is anger that this "thing" has invaded your personal space that you share with your loved one. And I totally understand the anger when something seems like it has gotten better, and it doesn't seem like the person that is ill is even acknowledging it and taking that particular ball and running with it. Logic and common sense would tell one that no one will be running anywhere anytime soon, but personal emotions will override common sense and logic every time. It a little bit of hope, and d am it, thats what "I" am running with, and you better see it too, and if you don't, well, maybe I can make you get on that hope train with me, even if I have to bully you, make you mad, anything, even poke you with a stick. </p><p> </p><p>Its living in a perpetual state of fear. If you knew me personally and would get to see me when SO has a crisis, you would think, who is that person. I go into automatic robot mode, there are no feelings showing, am just barking at people who don't know whats going on with SO and there is no time for them to go thru any kind of checklist. Lists of medications are in hand, things he is allergic to is given out in an orderly fashion. </p><p> </p><p>I KNOW that there is going to be that one last time I put in a call to 911 for him, but have to deal on a basis of "this isn't the one". When he is in the ambulance and on his way, I fall apart for a few minutes, sometimes falling on the floor with uncontrollable shaking and sobbing, but I gotta get up, get my **it together and go follow him.</p><p> </p><p>Being a female caregiver, I guess I am lucky I can work out my feelings with my girlfriends and it helps me keep my perspective- I can't see that sharing with your friends working well for the male caregivers. </p><p> </p><p>husband is probably on major overload at the moment -any little stress comming from somewhere else is enough to him there. </p><p> </p><p>Marcie</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marcie Mac, post: 125613, member: 47"] Linda, I can tell you personally caring for a loved one who is really ill for a long period of time is a really difficult job. SO many mixed emotions come into play over and above just being a caregiver. There is anger that this "thing" has invaded your personal space that you share with your loved one. And I totally understand the anger when something seems like it has gotten better, and it doesn't seem like the person that is ill is even acknowledging it and taking that particular ball and running with it. Logic and common sense would tell one that no one will be running anywhere anytime soon, but personal emotions will override common sense and logic every time. It a little bit of hope, and d am it, thats what "I" am running with, and you better see it too, and if you don't, well, maybe I can make you get on that hope train with me, even if I have to bully you, make you mad, anything, even poke you with a stick. Its living in a perpetual state of fear. If you knew me personally and would get to see me when SO has a crisis, you would think, who is that person. I go into automatic robot mode, there are no feelings showing, am just barking at people who don't know whats going on with SO and there is no time for them to go thru any kind of checklist. Lists of medications are in hand, things he is allergic to is given out in an orderly fashion. I KNOW that there is going to be that one last time I put in a call to 911 for him, but have to deal on a basis of "this isn't the one". When he is in the ambulance and on his way, I fall apart for a few minutes, sometimes falling on the floor with uncontrollable shaking and sobbing, but I gotta get up, get my **it together and go follow him. Being a female caregiver, I guess I am lucky I can work out my feelings with my girlfriends and it helps me keep my perspective- I can't see that sharing with your friends working well for the male caregivers. husband is probably on major overload at the moment -any little stress comming from somewhere else is enough to him there. Marcie [/QUOTE]
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