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Denial.......? Fear?
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<blockquote data-quote="Hound dog" data-source="post: 125653" data-attributes="member: 84"><p>I also think Star worded it well.</p><p> </p><p>husband is tired, stressed to the max (just as you are), and scared to death of losing someone he obviously loves very much.</p><p> </p><p>My husband does it with the cronic renal failure. Doesn't matter what I do, he just won't bring himself to accept it. Or he'll resent it. He can flux thru the stages of grief quickly or slowly depending on the situation. </p><p> </p><p>But plain ol' fashion denial seems to be his most comfortable spot. I can't say a whole lot against him on this when I see my kids doing the same, even easy child who is a nurse.</p><p> </p><p>I'll need to talk to them about my disease, or say DNR orders or Living Wills, or may dialysis or something...... And it's either a denial fest or a completely one-sided conversation. Or, and here's the one I love, I'll be swollen like a grape and sick as a dog and someone will ask me, "What's for supper, Mom?" And then be either angry or hurt that I'm not up to making it. So I'm left with no one to talk to over the nitty gritty of the disease or it's prognosis.</p><p> </p><p>Linda, stick to doctor orders and what you feel you're up to doing. Don't let anyone push you into doing too much. As for husband, I wish I had some wisdom there, but sadly I don't really. If he won't go for counsiling, and he won't let the docs talk to him, he's going to have to learn to deal with and get thru this emotional rollercoaster alone. At the moment I think he's just desperately grasping at the golden ring of Hope. And thinks if he holds on to it tight enough, and can convince himself and you that you're on the mend that it will make it so. Sort of a "positive thinking" gone wonkey thing.</p><p> </p><p>Sending warm ((((hugs)))) cuz I know how horribly frustrating it can be, even if it seems to be a fairly common reaction of loved ones to a long term illness.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Hound dog, post: 125653, member: 84"] I also think Star worded it well. husband is tired, stressed to the max (just as you are), and scared to death of losing someone he obviously loves very much. My husband does it with the cronic renal failure. Doesn't matter what I do, he just won't bring himself to accept it. Or he'll resent it. He can flux thru the stages of grief quickly or slowly depending on the situation. But plain ol' fashion denial seems to be his most comfortable spot. I can't say a whole lot against him on this when I see my kids doing the same, even easy child who is a nurse. I'll need to talk to them about my disease, or say DNR orders or Living Wills, or may dialysis or something...... And it's either a denial fest or a completely one-sided conversation. Or, and here's the one I love, I'll be swollen like a grape and sick as a dog and someone will ask me, "What's for supper, Mom?" And then be either angry or hurt that I'm not up to making it. So I'm left with no one to talk to over the nitty gritty of the disease or it's prognosis. Linda, stick to doctor orders and what you feel you're up to doing. Don't let anyone push you into doing too much. As for husband, I wish I had some wisdom there, but sadly I don't really. If he won't go for counsiling, and he won't let the docs talk to him, he's going to have to learn to deal with and get thru this emotional rollercoaster alone. At the moment I think he's just desperately grasping at the golden ring of Hope. And thinks if he holds on to it tight enough, and can convince himself and you that you're on the mend that it will make it so. Sort of a "positive thinking" gone wonkey thing. Sending warm ((((hugs)))) cuz I know how horribly frustrating it can be, even if it seems to be a fairly common reaction of loved ones to a long term illness. [/QUOTE]
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