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Depressed and discouraged vent. Self-pity warning
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 533706" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>MWM, I read your post with very similar feelings today. I do know, as you must as well, that this too will pass. But, sometimes those moments hit us and it feels bad. I really understand. I never had those days much when I was younger, so I am presuming they come with our age, I believe you and I are in that ballpark. It seems to be a part of aging, to go over the choices periodically and wonder....................I only had one child, and she has caused me great pain in the last 20 years. I sometimes look back and think, my life would be very different if I had not had her. Now I am raising her daughter, my granddaughter, who is a really good kid, and yet, it still does limit me in what I could be doing now, the freedom I could have.......................and yet as I say that I think, she'll be gone to college and mostly grown in a couple of years, and I will miss her....................I guess what I'm trying to say is that likely tomorrow, or in a day or two, these feelings will pass and we'll both be on firmer ground. It's interesting to look at what could have been, or the road not taken, and yet, we did, and we're here and it is what it is. None of us knew what would happen when we endeavored down these parenting roads, and some of us on this board especially, have had some pretty rough rides. I like what Malika said, "<span style="color: #800080">you have acted with kindness in your life, and now maybe you can turn that kindness very purposefully onto yourself." </span>Perhaps that's the answer for both of us, to shift the focus off of the children and onto ourselves. Let's give it a try. Hugs to you. I hope these feelings pass and you find your center and your peace again.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 533706, member: 13542"] MWM, I read your post with very similar feelings today. I do know, as you must as well, that this too will pass. But, sometimes those moments hit us and it feels bad. I really understand. I never had those days much when I was younger, so I am presuming they come with our age, I believe you and I are in that ballpark. It seems to be a part of aging, to go over the choices periodically and wonder....................I only had one child, and she has caused me great pain in the last 20 years. I sometimes look back and think, my life would be very different if I had not had her. Now I am raising her daughter, my granddaughter, who is a really good kid, and yet, it still does limit me in what I could be doing now, the freedom I could have.......................and yet as I say that I think, she'll be gone to college and mostly grown in a couple of years, and I will miss her....................I guess what I'm trying to say is that likely tomorrow, or in a day or two, these feelings will pass and we'll both be on firmer ground. It's interesting to look at what could have been, or the road not taken, and yet, we did, and we're here and it is what it is. None of us knew what would happen when we endeavored down these parenting roads, and some of us on this board especially, have had some pretty rough rides. I like what Malika said, "[COLOR=#800080]you have acted with kindness in your life, and now maybe you can turn that kindness very purposefully onto yourself." [/COLOR]Perhaps that's the answer for both of us, to shift the focus off of the children and onto ourselves. Let's give it a try. Hugs to you. I hope these feelings pass and you find your center and your peace again. [/QUOTE]
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Depressed and discouraged vent. Self-pity warning
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