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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 557990"><p>Thanks for all your good thoughts. A part of me thinks that hiking, hitchiking around, having these adventures may help him grow up and be his journey and he may end up like ThreeShadows and RecoveringEnabler describe. That is my hope. I just hope it actually happens. And yes I think his adoption issues are huge and he needs to find himself and hopefully sleeping under the stars will help him do that. As longs as drugs dont get him first.... but I am comforted that he is moving around and not just sitting on a street corner somewhere.</p><p></p><p>Pasajes4 - Aw thanks!</p><p></p><p>BKS and Cher... you are both newer to the board. This has been a process for me. Unfortunately I have been dealing with this for years and have had a lot of practice in dealing with this and learning to detach. There was a time when I was totally and completely obsessed all the time with what my son was doing and trying to rescue him... and I did rescue him in one form or another several times. Over time I have learned to continue to live my own life and I only get really obsessed in the worst of times and even then for shorter amounts of time.</p><p></p><p>I have given him an option of calling a friend of mine out there in the recovery community for help. I asked my difficult child in one of our fb conversations why he didnt go for help... and he said "Because sometimes it is easier sleeping on the streets than conforming to the rules of recovery". Somehow that clarified things for me and it is good to remind myself of that statement. He has options but he is choosing to be homeless and is choosing not to follow the path of recovery... and until he is really ready to do that there is literally nothing I can do. Knowing I have done everything is freeing somehow. So now my only goal really is to continue to let him know I love him... and here and there offer small indications of that (hence I got him the backpack for his birthday, and gave him the number of my friend for a possible meal). </p><p></p><p>TL</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 557990"] Thanks for all your good thoughts. A part of me thinks that hiking, hitchiking around, having these adventures may help him grow up and be his journey and he may end up like ThreeShadows and RecoveringEnabler describe. That is my hope. I just hope it actually happens. And yes I think his adoption issues are huge and he needs to find himself and hopefully sleeping under the stars will help him do that. As longs as drugs dont get him first.... but I am comforted that he is moving around and not just sitting on a street corner somewhere. Pasajes4 - Aw thanks! BKS and Cher... you are both newer to the board. This has been a process for me. Unfortunately I have been dealing with this for years and have had a lot of practice in dealing with this and learning to detach. There was a time when I was totally and completely obsessed all the time with what my son was doing and trying to rescue him... and I did rescue him in one form or another several times. Over time I have learned to continue to live my own life and I only get really obsessed in the worst of times and even then for shorter amounts of time. I have given him an option of calling a friend of mine out there in the recovery community for help. I asked my difficult child in one of our fb conversations why he didnt go for help... and he said "Because sometimes it is easier sleeping on the streets than conforming to the rules of recovery". Somehow that clarified things for me and it is good to remind myself of that statement. He has options but he is choosing to be homeless and is choosing not to follow the path of recovery... and until he is really ready to do that there is literally nothing I can do. Knowing I have done everything is freeing somehow. So now my only goal really is to continue to let him know I love him... and here and there offer small indications of that (hence I got him the backpack for his birthday, and gave him the number of my friend for a possible meal). TL [/QUOTE]
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